Lloyd Gordon

Chocolate Quoted Again (It's So Funny!)

Oh how we love it. We may not necessarily be thinking about it all the time.  But when we do turn our attention to it, at least for that moment in time, there is nothing that can take its place.  Yes! That's right! You know what I'm talking about!

Hello Again,

In acknowledgement of your favourable response to my previous humorous/pointless ramblings about my love of chocolate and the passion displayed by other chocolate worshippers, I have decided to give you another offering.  You will see that, far from being cured of my chocolate madness, the condition is in fact worsening.  However, I am seeing someone about it and they assure me that shopping online would be the best way to keep my supplies up and so avoid suffering the effects of sudden deficiency.  So far, it seems to
be working.  So these are my latest random chocolate quotations (apologies in advance):-

Q: What's brown on the sides, brown on top, surrounded by brown, with a large nut on the inside?
A: My house of course!

Q: How many chocolate bars does it take to fill an average sized room?
A: That would depend on whether you allow room inside for me to ...ere...do the
counting...and by the way; does the room have a door?

What's the point of a chocolate fountain if all you can do is dip things in it?

A chocolate bar was out in the sun pouring milk over itself. Another bar asked why. It replied, 'I'm not well, I've got the shakes.'

Did you hear about the world's first 'Glow- In-the - Dark' chocolate?
When the lights were turned off, it glowed for about three seconds and then mysteriously disappeared.- I was there when it happened....(hey! don't look at me like that!)

There is only one type of chocolate! -  "My Chocolate!"

Q: Why does chocolate melt in the mouth?
A:  Where else would you have it melt?

I once owned a chocolate factory but I just couldn't make a profit...

The perfect size for a chocolate sculpture is about two inches tall by about one inch wide. -  I just love miniature art!

Contrary to popular belief; fine chocolate isn't the only thing I love - I just don't waste time on all the other useless stuff in life.

I think it was a great idea to invent drinking-chocolate for people without teeth...

I love bringing out the luxury chocolates when friends come around. - There's just something about that look on their faces while they watch me eating.

I'm not a chocoholic! I'm just not very likeable without it!

Q: Where's the best place to store gourmet chocolate?
A: Personally, I find; a solid-steel safe with a combination lock, built into a concrete wall, hidden behind a secret door disguised in the form of a bookshelf; works well for me. Still: I remain open to suggestions! (I'm not sure about the armed-guard thing though)

Well, the recession hasn't had any impact on my eating habits!

In the United Kingdom: you are no longer allowed to drive and eat at the same time.  Now I just don't know what to do with my hands....

Chocolate covered fruit - 'What a windup!'

I have an innovative invention for window-blinds that disappear when the sun comes out - And they're ultra environmentally friendly -  Now I look forward to each new day!

I've been conned! I bought some marching chocolate, and when I put it on the floor, it just sat there...

Someone said, "The best things in life are free" - Gee! What an idiot!

The best times for eating chocolate are: morning, afternoon and evening, and no other times (except possibly at night), but definitely no other times.

I once had a chocolate carpet.  They're easy to clean but after a while you do get a sore tongue....Hey! Don't knock it till you've tried it!

Well I think that's just about enough of that.  Like I said, there's been no real improvement since my last insightful revelations and probably, this should be the last of its kind.  However if you think otherwise, please feel free to let me know.

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