Therapy works best with someone who makes you feel safe.
I ask new clients if they feel safe, and if they think theycan work with me.
Sometimes they don't! I don't take it personally. I know IAM safe, but I may remind them of someone untrustworthy intheir past.
If you're not sure, you could try asking yourself: how do Ifeel with this person?
I do value experience over paper qualifications but we allneed some diplomas. The person with lots of letters aftertheir name will not necessarily love and care for you more.A therapist should be able to give you reasonable guaranteesthat they will be around long enough to offer you anappropriate period of therapy.
In return, you need to show up regularly and on time!
You cannot form a meaningful relationship unless there isconsistency not just because the therapist is earning aliving, ducking in and out is disrespectful and even hurtfulin any relationship.
Making a commitment to therapy may in itself prove to be atherapeutic exercise.
There is no such thing as a 'good' client. We're aiming tohelp you be yourself, so you don't have to put on any'front'! But if you find yourself unable to share difficultmaterial you may not be ready for therapy. Good therapistsdon't judge, advise or pressurise, or have their ownagendas.
Pay Up On Time! Your fee may be their food budget for theweek! We won't welcome requests for a concession unless youhave temporary unusual circumstances. Being on benefitsisn't a reason for a concession. Not working is your choice,why should the therapist support you? You would be surprisedat how many clients expect half fee then tell you they justhad dinner and a movie!
Therapy is not particularly well paid outside Harley Street.Your therapist is a human being with financial needs, likeyou!
Ethics - what are they?
Any sexual approach, suggestion or activity on either sideis unethical, maybe unlawful. Quit immediately.
If you think your therapist has power over you in some way,quit.
If you think your therapist is trying to keep the sessionsgoing for financial reasons, quit.
It is best not to be in therapy individually with someonewho is also seeing your close relative or friend unless thetherapist is extremely experienced and can keep neutralboundaries, or if after couple work all three negotiateindividual therapy for one of them.
You should not have to meet or talk to the therapist'sfamily, friends, colleagues, receptionist or other clients. Your therapist should work in a clean, quiet space andshould not pressure you to source new clients, or performother tasks and favours.
Nearly 100 years of psychotherapy experience confirms thatthe best frequency is weekly - recommendations for more areunethical.
You have a right to keep your therapy secret, but if not, DOtell your friends if you had a good experience, it's hard tomarket therapy and referral really helps.
Remember, it's true that not everyone needs therapy but, wecould all use some from time to time!
