How to become seriously obese in 7 easy steps

Feb 27
11:43

2008

Greg Brookes

Greg Brookes

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Want to really pile on the pounds and achieve obesity in the minimum amount of time then follow these 7 easy steps.

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Want to really pile on the pounds and achieve obesity in the minimum amount of time,How to become seriously obese in 7 easy steps Articles then follow these 7 easy steps.

1. You awake tired, skip breakfast and opt for a coffee instead. For a real fast track weight gainer you go to Starbucks and order "the works!". Avoid eggs, oat based cereals, porridge (oatmeal), this is the devils food!!

2. You drink nice sugary, fizzy and fruity juices, your favourites are coke and diet coke. You may even drink a fruit smoothie because you think it's healthy. What ever you do you avoid water at all costs!

3. Its lunchtime so you must pig out on as much bread as possible. White or brown it doesn't matter just eat lots of it. Sandwiches are great! For a real bonus you can add some crisps (potato chips) and a chocolate bar.

4. You must get down that gym everyday and start working on those super modern machines. Yes you read that correct, masses of exercise especially when you're totally exhausted are best. My personal recommendations for some real rapid weight gain are the stepper, the cross trainer, thousands of sit-ups and a good lengthy walk on the treadmill. Don't miss a session now, the more the better!!!

5. Your starving with little time so your main meals come from packets and boxes and just require some quick heating. Nothing like a microwave meal or some low calorie re-heatable meal in a box for some serious ugly fat. Why not add some tomato ketchup for a real bonus? At no cost should you ever prepare your own food from scratch.

6. You must get the TV on, sit down and relax. It's best to get a good 3 hours minimum of TV in before bed, this way your brain is stimulated just before you sleep. Watching TV in bed is even better and a real treat for weight gain. Whatever you do, don't read or take some time out to relax and let your brain wind down. Remember the less you sleep and the more stressed you can make your body the more ugly fat you can pile on.

7. You need to go to bed as late as possible and have a nice restless nights sleep. Wake up nice and early and feel totally exhausted before you start your day. You always have your coffee to keep you going before you repeat your 7 steps to obesity again.

Keep repeating these 7 steps week in, week out, for maximum results and some obesity and health issues you can really be proud of. Of course there is another way.