What does clutter, inadequate tools for the job, a too-chatty co-worker and a troublesome relationship have in common? They’re all tolerations, those little or big things we put up with that sap our energy and drain our life force. In order to create a personal life that is balanced and fulfilling, it is necessary to evaluate and eliminate the tolerations standing in our way.
Tolerations are all around us things like clutter, life imbalance, poor health habits or inappropriate behaviors. These tolerations are a drain on life energy and distract you from living a vibrant healthy life full of energy and vitality.
At the root of our tolerations are a variety of limiting beliefs that immobilize us. For example: “I can’t take the time.” “That’s just the way it is.” “Don’t rock the boat—play it safe.” “Don’t complain or be too demanding.” “It’s not that important.” “I have no control.”
In order to have a personal life that is balanced and fulfilling, it is necessary to consciously evaluate and eliminate the tolerations standing in our way.
Here’s a list of my top 7 behaviors and situations to stop tolerating so that you can move towards greater inner peace and fulfillment.
1. Poor work/life balance. Working long hours again? It’s essential for health and happiness not to let work take priority over home and family. The world won’t end when you leave work at work. Do this for two solid weeks and see what a difference it makes.
2. Unkind words and behaviors. If you’ve been putting up with others calling you names and/or speaking down to you, consider ways to improve your self-esteem. Make a list of your strengths and use it as a basis for a self-nurturing affirmation. Review the list as needed for a reminder of your self-worth; then act and speak from that place.
3. Clutter. Do you live with someone who can’t seem to put stuff away? Or maybe you’ve created the clutter yourself? Take five minutes each day to put things in order. Along with a sense of peace, you’ll be amazed at the time saved when you don’t have to hunt around. If someone else is making the mess, have an honest heart-to-heart conversation, and come to an agreement about how to solve the problem.
4. Nagging repairs. From garage doors and kitchen drawers that won’t close properly to that rattle in the car motor, the tolerations surrounding possessions can quickly turn into aggravation. Make it a habit to repair things quickly. You won’t have to tolerate these little nuisances, and you might be saving yourself from a much bigger problem (and bill) stemming from letting the little repairs go untended.
5. Lack of respect for time and energy. Have a friend who shows up late more often than not? A tardy coworker who holds up meetings? Communicate honestly with your friend about the impact of their lateness. Ask that meetings start on time—latecomers or not. Take inventory of your own awareness of others’ time and energy, and set boundaries for yourself, as needed.
6. Obligations. You might feel obligated to do things even if they conflict with your own desires. Don’t feel like attending the work party for a coworker that you never bonded with? That’s okay.
7. Poor wellness habits. Whether it’s lack of exercise or an unhealthy diet, don’t give in to the slippery slope of bad habits. Being proactive about your health now can prevent larger health issues in the future.
A simple way for you to start eliminating what annoys you is to write down what you are tolerating in each of the areas of your life: environment, health, work, money, relationship and so on. Next make your choices on what will you say “no” to? What you will say “Yes” to, based on your values and goals. Make sure the “yeses” really excite you.
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