Jesse S. Somer

A new definition of "Buyer Beware"

"Who's Suzie?"
My wife Katrina had been acting strangely ever since I had returned home from my Native American cultural class, not to mention the weird phone call I received just before I left, full of little pauses instead of our usual fast-paced communication. Now that I was home she had been pretty much ignoring me completely, then comes this strange question. Katrina was calm but I could tell there was something under her skin as she chopped up the vegetables for the night's dinner.

"I don't know anyone named Suzie." I replied. "Well come to think of it, there's my old friend Peter's wife Suzie."
My wife remained calm, " Do you want to tell me anything?" she replied.
"There is nothing to tell Kat."
Katrina was heating up; her trademark rosy cheeks had evolved to boiling teapot. Still however, no steam or whistle had been emitted from her pretty spout.

She looked at me thoughtfully, "Well, I looked at your cell phone today. It seems you've been sending text messages to a woman named Suzie. I've read around thirty of her texts in the archive; they're all like "I love you heaps" and "Thinking of you right now". Who is she Tom?"
A strange feeling overcame me. Katrina seemed absolutely sure that I was guilty of something. Accused yet innocent, her eyes spoke of the obvious evidence that was piled against me. The thing is, we were really having serious relationship problems at the time, with many arguments and rarely seeing eye-to-eye.

Katrina was on the brink of tears and I simply didn't know what she was talking about. Looking down I could see the cell phone gripped tightly in her hands. Funny, I hadn't thought about the fact that I own two phones and she was holding the one that I rarely use. A few months back I bought it off eBay as it is extremely small and I don't want to have to carry my big expensive "computer" phone on me when I am riding my mountain bike. It was actually my second 'extra' phone as my wife had killed the first when she had put it through the washing machine.

"Are you talking about that phone Kat? Give me a look at it." She handed the phone over reluctantly, as if it were evidence in a murder trial. I looked at the messages and sure enough there were a whole bunch from someone named Suzie. Some of the messages were quite raunchy indeed.
Straight away I started to search for the dates of the archived messages, as they would surely prove my innocence. "Look Kat, the dates of these messages were several months ago. I've only had the phone for a couple months. They are obviously someone else's."

Her look of disbelief was starting to rattle me. It is a really horrible feeling when somebody you love so much doesn't have trust in you. I then searched and found the receipt from eBay for when I bought the phone. After showing the date on the form to her I could tell she was starting to see that I was telling the truth, but the wall of disbelief still hung over, clouds covering her bright face.
Finally I decided to search for the guy who sold me the phone. If this didn't prove my case nothing would save me from eternally sleeping in the doghouse. Using the email address he had used in the sale proved fruitless as my message kept coming back 'Return to sender.' Let me tell you I was really beginning to panic! Then, bang! The sound of the gun rang in my ears...just joking. It didn't get that serious! No, the bang was the sound of the flash of inspiration that suddenly entered my mind. I went back on the Internet and eBay and searched for the guy's name. I found it with a different email address, as he must have changed his Internet Service provider. A huge feeling of calmness rushed over me like the first wave at the beach when you have been in the heat all day.

Next I sent him a message asking him about the archived messages to 'Suzie' and asked him to 'Carbon Copy' (Cc) his response to my wife's email address so she would see that it was authentic.

The man then replied with a message that said he was very embarrassed about not deleting the messages on the cell phone. All right, pay dirt! He also went on to say that his wife was named Suzie and gave her address so Kat could then contact her if necessary. He seemed especially nervous about the content of the messages and said that he hoped nothing too x-rated was there as he and his wife often used risqué language to keep their relationship's fire 'stoked up!
O.K. So there's my story. My main message to you from the whole experience is that if you are buying or selling a product on eBay, make sure you clean up any unwanted information. It can really cause problems! Let me also tell you that now I am back searching on eBay as my new phone has also been sent on a mission back to the creator as it too has been on the 'Quest for the spin cycle'!

Article Tags: Cell Phone, Named Suzie

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