How to Fix Relationship Problems – Overcoming Fear of Rejection

Jan 22
08:35

2011

Relationship Rehab Coach

Relationship Rehab Coach

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Why the fear of rejection causes relationship problems and how to overcome it!

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Fear of rejection is often an underlying issue that causes a person to sabotage and even destroy a relationship. However,How to Fix Relationship Problems – Overcoming Fear of Rejection Articles very few people who struggle with this issue actually take the correct approach to eliminate it. While the most common approach is to modify ones behavior through cognitive awareness, this technique rarely provides meaningful and authentic results. When working to relinquish the fear of rejection, one important fact that is often overlooked, and should be considered, is that everyone faces fear throughout their life. The only difference between the fearless and the fearful is that the before mentioned uses fear as an agent of change rather that allowing it to become a paralyzing nemesis. Consequently, eliminating fear requires action! Sure, you can attempt to manage the issue on the surface or even use positive affirmations to overcome it. However, without the correct action, those efforts will prove to be exercises in futility. A fear such as rejection is often embedded in the subconscious mind. And, the fastest way to change your mind or belief system is to take action in the opposite direction. For your benefit, I have outlined a specific example below. This scenario is indicative of the fact that folks who struggle with a fear of rejection often attract partners that ultimately reject them. Bottom line, you attract what’s engrained in your subconscious mind.

A woman and her partner made plans for dinner on Saturday night at 6pm. At 3PM that evening, her partner called and cancelled because his friend was in some emotional distress and felt the need to assist him. Her partner called the following day. They agreed to make plans to attend a movie the following Tuesday at 8PM. At 5PM that evening, her partner called and cancelled due to work constraints. He called the following day. They both agreed to meet for dinner on Friday at 7PM. At 6PM that evening, he called and cancelled because his sister had come to town for a surprise visit! 

Once again, her partner rejected her. And, this pattern is likely to continue until her partner decides to reject her completely by ending the relationship altogether. 

On the other hand, if she wants to put an end to this behavior and stop rejecting herself, here’s what she should do: She should call her partner and say, "I understand that you have friends that may need help, obligations at work and family members that you’d like to visit with, but, I am not willing to be set on the back burner. I respect and appreciate myself too much to accept such treatment. If you’d like to make another date, I am willing to do so. However, if you cancelled again, I am prepared to move on!"

In summary, the action taken by the woman in the parable above will result in positive results. First, the action in and of itself will empower her. Second, and most importantly, it will create a shift in conceptual framework and a new belief that no one can reject her if she doesn’t reject herself!

Regards,

David Roppo

The Relationship Rehab coach