OK...Let's talk about romance! The #1 most important thing you need to turn your relationship into a great romance is DESIRE. You have to WANT great romance in your life. Well, who wouldn't want that? But it won't just happen...it will take some effort. But it will be well worth it!
When asking couples why they think the romance has escaped their relationships, the most common excuse is TIME. It's sooooooo hard to find time and energy to devote to your relationships. But think for a moment back to your courtship. What was different then? Didn't you have a job then? Didn't you have other responsibilities then? Of course you did...maybe not to the extent that you do now, but you still had a schedule to keep, whether it was attending college, studying, playing sports, attending club meetings, keeping a job, etc. But somehow you found the time to "woo" your partner, right? You found time to date, right? Why? Because you WANTED TO! You planned it into your schedule and did it! And why were those times together so special? Because that specific amount of time was set aside and reserved for one reason...ROMANCE! And during those "dates" you gave 100% of your attention to each other, right? That's what made it special.
Now I want you to think about the last time you and your partner went out to dinner. What did you talk about? Maybe it was the family finances, or difficulties at work, or...the KIDS. Wow, what a romantic dinner, huh? That's the problem. You have to learn to create romantic situations that focus 100% on each other. Save the "problem solving" for another time. I can't tell you how many times in the past my husband and I went out to dinner and whenever we got home, I didn't even feel like we went out! Why? Because the whole time we were out, we were busy doing that "problem solving" stuff instead of enjoying what little time we had together. So, that's the second most important thing you need to turn your relationship into a great romance...PRIORITY. Make it a priority to spend quality, FOCUSED time with your partner. These special times should be set aside JUST for the two of you to enjoy each others company...nothing else...PERIOD.
Okay...So now we have established that creating great romance will require DESIRE, and making it a PRIORITY. The next thing we need is a PLAN! You may have heard the saying, "You didn't plan to fail, you just failed to plan!" Anything worth doing requires a good plan. It can be as simple as scheduling one evening per week as "date night," or promising to spend "x" amount of time doing something romantic for your partner each week. There are plenty of books, magazines, web sites, newsletters, etc. that will give you lots of ideas to use for your romantic "dates." Use your imagination & be creative! The most important thing is to make a plan and then stick to it...no matter what.
After that, all that's left to do is sit back and watch the magic of romance do it's thing! Oh, I'm not saying that this is going to be easy...it WILL take a little work. But it will be FUN work!
