Change

Those of you, who can fathom yourselves welcoming and enjoying a big, major change in your life right now, raise your hands! When I say, change, it might be a good change and it might be a bad change. Either way, we all don’t know what that change is going to be like, what aspect of our lives is going to change and we might not even be happy with it.

Still feel like raising your hand now?

Change, in everyone’s lives, is inevitable. It happens all the time. Imagine what people who used to ride in a horse-cart had to say when they were told that the carriage could move by itself, without a horse but with an engine. People have come to accept the fact that the car moves when it is pulled by a horse…or man. The change from riding around in a horse-pulled carriage to a car was…..ridiculous. The old don’t go, the new won’t come. The new could be better…or it could be worse. That’s what change is all about. You just don’t predict or forecast what that change is going to be like.

This reminds of the award-winning book entitled “Who moved my cheese?”. The book was not only expensive, but it was thinner than my kids’ coloring books! The concept was simple if not derived out of pure logic, and half the pages in the book were filled with pictures of mice and cheese and large lettering that you can read from a mile away! And this is the book that sold millions upon millions of copies all around the world. I could write a book about finger-exercise if I wanted to and it wouldn’t make me as much money. the concept of accepting change, however, is ancient. It’s as old as time. And the only reason why the book, Who moved my cheese, was so popular was not because the book was good. It was because of the fact that every one of us has an innate instinct to fight, defy, and prevent change. THAT’s why the book was good.

I’m going to tell you a story about a friend of mine, Feeb, who fought change all her life. She resisted it with all her might and even when she found out that her husband was not loyal to her, she resisted the change, denied the truth and hid behind a veil of denial.

Feeb is 35, have been married to Tom, 42, for the past 12 years of her life. She has 3 lovely children whom she loves tremendously. She used to be an accountant and loved her job (imagine that! I can’t imagine anyone liking accounts) excessively. However, things changed when she married her husband and conceived her first child. She suddenly wanted to stay home with her kids. Therefore, Feeb gave up her career and became a full-time mother to her kids.

Fast forward 12 years later, Feeb is still a housewife but because she found out that her husband, Tom, has been having more than one affair with younger women, she decided that enough was enough. This was the kind of change that she wants to see happening to her life. She spent the better part of her life denying her husband’s affairs, even when she suspected them and found clues about the affairs. But in the end, she had to file for divorce, for her own good. She had to leave the marriage to be able to find herself again – a part of her old self died when she married Tom. She dedicated her entire life to her kids and her husband. Now, her kids are grown up and her husband is disloyal. It’s time to move on.

She didn’t like the new change in her life. But within 2 short years, she started her own business and is now enjoying a life with her partner who loves her 3 kids. She keeps in touch with her ex-husband because they were still good friends. Just because he was a bad husband doesn’t mean he doesn’t make a fabulous friend.

The change has brought back dignity, confidence, completeness and happiness to my friend, Feeb’s, life.

We cannot deny that things change all the time – we evolve and even human nature and our biological make-up is changing every single generation. She become better (sometimes we become worse) but the key thing to remember is that not all change is bad. And even if the change is bad, you’ll need to take it in your stride and make a go for it. Roll along with the punches and don’t let the change get you down.

Happy changing!