SPEAK UP!

Ever been in a meeting with something important to say and remained silent?
You may have felt the flush of the good idea and the rising adrenalin. You
may have moved to the front of your seat and readied your body to
speak...and then didn't. What stopped you?

Certainly there is wisdom in knowing when to speak and when not to. Knowing
the politics of a situation or the time constraints, you may choose not to
speak. Often, though, you may have a unique view, perspective, issue or
concern that needs to be raised. That contribution would add a new dimension
to the discussion or change the decision about to be made.

You may feel strongly about a new policy and your silence allows folks to
think you agree. Is that the message you wish to send?

Recently I was involved in the creation of a new management team for a
department of a public sector organization. This brought together four
people who previously had felt that they were in a 'pecking order' and
changed them into a cohesive decision-making team. Two of the four have
strong opinions and are very comfortable expressing them. Two are very
quiet. In forming the team, we discussed this dynamic. How are we each going
to best contribute to the team? We talked about the possibility that the
talkative two could overpower the silent two. In fact, they might even do
the talking for them! Focusing on the fact that each person was hired
because he or she is an expert in a distinct field, it was soon decided that
each person's opinion was vital to good decision-making.

The two who are quiet are very competent as are the others. Increasing their
level of comfort with adding their voices to the group was important. Two
things were agreed upon: every person would speak on every issue and each
person would take responsibility for doing so. One of the natural 'talkers'
offered to ask the quiet two for their opinions. This seems like a good idea
on the surface, however, as a rule, it is a poor idea.

Why is it a poor idea? Simple. If one person takes responsibility for the
contributions of others there are two new kinds of control being encouraged.
The 'talker' has control over when the others are asked for their opinions.
The 'silent' could be waiting to be asked making their contribution the
'talkers' responsibility. Neither of these options are optimal.

The important piece is that each person understands that he or she was hired
to contribute his or her expertise and experience to the team. It is the
responsibility of the individual to contribute. For the talkers that is
easy. In fact, it is enjoyable. For the quiet folks, two things seemed to be
true. One of them only felt it necessary to contribute if she disagreed with
the direction of the conversation. The other is very shy. What to do?

With some individual coaching for each team member, each began to monitor
involvement in the meetings. For those for whom it was difficult, they
undertook to at least say when they agreed or disagreed. For those for whom
it was easy, they undertook to leave some airtime free. Often, it is a
challenge to find a quiet moment to summon up the gumption to speak!

When you have something you feel is important to contribute to a meeting,
formulate your thoughts, take a deep breath and jump in. Nothing
life-threatening will happen. It's a little like learning to swim. The first
few times you may get a mouthful of water and sputter a little. You may find
yourself gasping for air. You may flail around a little, but, with practice,
things even out and you make progress. Yes, it may feel awkward. Yes, you
may discount the importance of what you have to say before you say it. But,
jump in. You are there to offer your skills and learning. It is your
responsibility.

A tip or two about handling those who only value the sound of their own
voices may be in order. They have to take a breath sometime. Be ready to
step in and take that opportunity.

AGREE WITH THEM. Beginning with 'I agree with _____________ part of your
opinion..." and go on to offer your thoughts. Being agreed with, even in
part, will encourage them to listen to you.

USE POSITIVE LANGUAGE. Tell folks what you think would be best and why
rather than telling them what is wrong with their ideas. Again, you may
capture their attention.

HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOUR IDEAS. Work within yourself to clarify your thoughts
prior to the meeting. You may even make some notes. Being prepared will make
it more likely that you will have some energy behind your points of view
and, therefore, be more likely to express them.

BE BRIEF AND SPECIFIC. This is a great tip for everyone at the meeting. Stay
on the topic and the point. Give your thoughts and reasons in short
sentences, then stop and let others respond. This is the way business gets
done! Who wants interminable meetings?

Speak up! You have the right and responsibility to do so.