You’re Fired!by Sheldon ... scene opens in a ... with three men, two seated on one side of a large rosewood table, the third seated on the opposite side facing them. The third man is
You’re Fired! by Sheldon Reiffenstein
The scene opens in a boardroom with three men, two seated on one side of a large rosewood table, the third seated on the opposite side facing them. The third man is speaking: "George, Dick, you’ve had four years to run this business - four years! I’m looking at the balance sheet, and, frankly, I’m disappointed. Just looking at the numbers here freaks me out. When you took over, the business had a surplus of $200 billion and today we have a deficit of over $400 billion. Plus you’ve had to layoff about two million people. If I ran a business like this, I’d be bankrupt." "But, Mr. Trump, we did run into some bad times. September 11 cut a large hole in our revenues..." "Yes, George, I know that September 11 was devastating, but it only accounts for about 30% of this deficit. And, in three years you should have been able to pull the business out of the red. Didn’t you promise that when you put in place those major tax cuts of yours? Weren’t they supposed to have revived the business?" "Well, it’s starting to, Mr. Trump. We’ve added almost 700,000 new jobs this year, and the unemployment rate is only 5.4%. I think that’s good progress. We’re moving forward and we’re not turning back." "George, don’t try tossing those ridiculous feel-good lines at me. Do I look like an idiot?" "No, Mr. Trump." "Right. So now that we’re clear on that. You made a big hit with the employees that day you stood at ‘Ground Zero’ and hollered through that megaphone. Then you bombed Afghanistan. Those were good things. But, George, you’ve lost your focus since then. This Iraq venture, what is it with that?" "He was a threat to the free world, Saddam was." "How? He had no WMD, no nuclear program, which you claimed in front of the whole world. His army was in disarray, his economy could never have supported any kind of war or invasion of another country. Worst of all he had absolutely no ties to the real criminal…you do remember his name don’t you, George?…That Osama guy, the guy you threaten to capture dead or alive? Just what happened to him?" "We have men searching for him right now." "How many? A few hundred searching hundreds of thousands of square miles of mountains in Afghanistan. You really think you’re going to find that needle in a haystack with that force? While you’ve got 140,000 troops tied up in this Iraq mess, and for how long? It’s going to be five years or more according to your own reports." "But America is safer, Mr. Trump, with Saddam gone." "How are we safer? You have no proof that Saddam posed any threat to the United States. All we have to rely on are your words. A lot of people are looking at the mess in Iraq and they don’t seem to trust your word, your simplistic little phrases, so much. How can we believe we’re safer? Osama is still on the loose; we know that the Al Qaeda ranks are growing; militants are causing terrible havoc in Iraq cities; over 1,000 American soldiers are dead, almost 900 of those since you declared ‘Mission Accomplished’. What was it with that anyway?" "Mr. Trump, that wasn’t my idea. Dick thought that one up." "Dick, are you going to take that, let him lay that one on you? Where did that sign come from?" "The ship made it." "Now, come on Dick, I know it came from the White House. And another thing, what’s with the language in the Capitol, telling a senator to go f*** himself? You guys promised to bring character back to the White House, and you use language like that. I could fire someone on the spot for talking like that in any of my companies. And you did it in full public view. Don’t you think that was a lapse in judgment?" "I felt good afterwards and I don’t apologize for it." "No, I guess you don’t. You two don’t think you should apologize for anything do you?" "Well, Mr. Trump, we are on the side of the righteous on this and no we don’t need to apologize for keeping America safe." "George, that’s the problem. I get back to my earlier question, how is America safer with Saddam gone, Osama still on the loose, Al Qaeda recruiting faster than our army can, our ports, airport security, borders all under-funded. Potentially any terrorist could walk up Fifth Avenue with a suitcase bomb in his hand and set it off. And you have us up to our necks in Iraq over some revenge thing against Saddam Hussein. You could have let the inspectors go back in, forced Hussein to comply, by getting the whole international community to pressure him. But, no you had to go it alone." "Mr. Trump, if I had to I’d do it the same all over again." "Even knowing what you know today?" "Yes, I would. The Iraqi people are free, a terrible murdering dictator is in jail"... "At what cost? How many Iraqis are dead since your invasion? About 20,000. How many more will die before this whole thing is over and our troops are out of there? Yes, Saddam killed half a million of his own people and that is terrible. But look at Sudan, what are we prepared to do there? How many North Korean civilians have been murdered by their government? How many Tibetans by the Chinese? I could go on. The point is there are lots of dictators who should be put in jail and their people freed, but we can’t do it all. 20,000 Iraqis dead since our invasion, and what do we have to show for it…1,000 American soldiers dead, Saddam is in jail and we have no idea how to fix the situation, or how we’re going to get out." "But we can’t leave now." "Yes, you’ve made sure of that with your adventure. But, what I can do is find someone else to take over and get us on the right course, get our respect back and actually make us safer"...he presses the intercom button... "Please send the two Johns in here." He looks at the two men sitting in front of him. "I have to say it...George, Dick, you’re fired."