Dealing With a Inconsiderate Roommate
You may be one of those people who got stuck with a horrible roommate. If thatís the case than you have multiple options to free yourself from the stress it causes. This article will help you pick the option best for you.†
Almost everyone on this planet has had them, the roommate you wish you never had. Whether they have parties every night, come home drunk, bring home too many men/women, are messy and disrespectful or just plain rude to live with. They can be a source of constant stress and headaches and pretty much make your life a living hell. Sometimes you can easily get out of those situations, you may be in control and able to ask them to leave. You might have enough to get your own place or find that itís an easy task to just move.
But what if those arenít options, what if you are stuck in a dorm room with them, they own the house you are staying in, or you canít leave for financial reasons? Then it essentially comes down to two choices; you can either suck it up and just let it be, or you can confront them and tell them youíre having a problem. Whatever option you choose you are going to have to take certain steps to make it work.
Dealing With It:
If you decide that you would rather just suck it up and deal with it than you are going to have to make sure that youíre not living in hell because of that choice. You are going to have to work around the problems your roommate is causing. For example if they have a party at the same time every night at the same time make sure you are out during that time. Go to a friends house, go for a walk, go for a night out on the town, go to the library; wherever you need to go to accomplish what you want that night.
If they are messy then you might have to resort to cleaning up their mess if you want a clean house. Consider vacuuming during the day and doing some light cleaning, not enough to put a dent in your day, but enough so that the house isnít in such bad shape. If they are just plain rude to be with than avoid them if possible, you donít have to hide just do what you can to keep the peace. If you know they are going to bring some ďcompanyĒ home that night and you donít want to hear the ďfunĒ they are going to have than I suggest leaving the house or putting your headphones on and listening to your favorite music.
Of course altering your life because of these issues isnít ideal but if you would rather do this than confront your roommate thatís what youíre going to have to live it. Itís not fun but itís certainly better than being in a constant stage of agitation and stress.
So sitting back and just taking it isnít your thing, you would rather confront your problems head on. More power to you! Just remember confrontation isnít always an easy thing. Confronting someone you live with can be especially challenging because you canít go home to get away from them. Whatever problems might arise from the confrontation are ones that youíre going to have to live with. Donít let that deter you though, if the confrontation goes well than you will be a much happier person for it. The key to making a confrontation work is how you word things.
For example lets say the problem is that they constantly make a lot of noise when youíre trying to study. Instead of going out and yelling at them itís better to go out and say something like ďIím trying to study is there any way you can keep the noise down?Ē That way youíre asking nicely and your giving them a solid reason behind it.† If they are always throwing parties then you could say something like this, ďI love a good party but sometimes itís nice to have a peaceful night, is there any way you could throw them less?Ē You could even say, ďTell you what, if you throw the parties less I will help you get everything ready and clean up.Ē That way youíre offering them something in return for them complying with your wishes.
The key to telling your roommate about the problems youíre having is to not demand them to stop. You canít start yelling at cursing at them and expect them to handle it well. But if you confront them when they are in a good mood and word it nicely, but still firm enough to get your point across you will have a better response. Depending on the situation you could also do the whole ďItís meĒ thing. For example if your roommate always leaves a mess behind, leaves the kitchen in a state of disarray ect. then you could say something like ďMaybe itís just me but this kitchen seems pretty dirty. Is there any way we can work together to keep it cleaner?Ē That way you arenít attacking him/her just getting your point across and your offering to help in the process.
I hope this little article helps if you are going through a problem with a roommate. I know exactly how hard it is from personal experience so believe me when I say I understand your pain. But if you choose the path thatís best for you and act on it than you can live a better life until you can get out of that situation entirely.†
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