Kathy Pedeaux

Healthy Happy Relationships "7 Tips"

"Negative People = Trouble Maintaining Healthy Relationships"

I once knew a woman for several years who seemed to never be happy in any situation, was negative about people, her circumstances and lived for the next change or the next event happening in her life. Let's call her "Lulu." I was trying to build a friendship with Lulu because I enjoyed her company at different times, but her increasingly negative attitude made me want to avoid being around her. She would say, "If I wasn't single, then I would be happy," then when she got married she was negative about her husband. Lulu didn't like where she lived either, but guess what? When she moved, happiness couldn't be found. If I just.... When I .....If only......If they would just....then I'll be happy. Negative people are unhappy people and others do not want to be around someone who brings them down on a consistant basis. Many times unforgiveness and holding on to the past is a real agent in people who suffer with being negative. If we hold on to the past, then we remain stuck and never experience the joy of growth and success.
(Read next months article called, "Forgive, Release, Restore.")
I once was honest with a close relative when I said, "I love you so much and I enjoy being with you, but could you possibly bring some good news to the table today?" It shocked them into reality and really helped us to get even closer in the long run. Do we stop being patient with those who struggle? No indeed! But if someone is having relationship problems in keeping friends, with their marriages, at home with the family, or in the workplace, then maybe being honest and giving some helpful encouraging tips could help. As you are reading this article, you may realize that this negative, unhappy person is you! You may need those tips for yourself. We will list some practical tips for you or someone you know at the end of the article. But first we must realize that not being negative is being positive. Choose to be an optimist not a pessimist. Paul gives us good word on being content: Phil. 4:4 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice!" Further instruction from Paul in I Thess. 5 says this, "Be joyful always; pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." If it is God's will, then it is possible and He is ready to give you the strength to turn the corner! You may say that sounds like great advice but you don't know my situation! Well let me tell you a little about Paul's situation. Here is an excerpt from Joel Osteen's book called, "Your Best Life Now."

"The apostle Paul wrote more than half of the
New Testament while incarcerated,
often in tiny prison cells not much bigger
than a small bathroom. Some historians and
Bible commentators believe that the sewage
system of that day ran right through one of the
dungeons in which he was imprisoned. Some
commentaries state that it's possible that
he could have written some of the great passages
of what we now know as New Testament
standing in raw sewage that at times came all
the way up to his waist. Yet Paul wrote such
amazing faith filled words such as, 'Thanks be to God,
who always causes us to triumph.'"

Not many of us have situations quite like Paul, but they seem just as devestating and hopeless. Sometimes we find ourselves in what seems like impossible situations, we have choices to make. It is important to note that it is not the negative circumstances that come our way that dictates our life, but the decisions we make in response to those circumstances is what will determine our successes or our failures.

*Remember if you want friends, more intimate relationships, you must first learn to be a positive, happy person!

7 Practical TIPS that Lead to Optimism

1. Realize that Right Feelings Follow Right Thoughts!

2. Learn that Happiness is a decision!
(You can be in control)

3. Do something about what you can change!
(What we do determines what direction we take)

4. Trust God about what you cannot change!

5. Find a way to believe the best, instead of assuming the worst!

6. Only speak publicly about what is positive!
(Seek private counsel about what is negative)

7. Forget what is behind!
(Forgive, release and focus on the future)

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