How A Phony Persona Always Hurts You

‘Be yourself’, isn’t that what you’ve always heard? Itcertainly isn’t ill advice considering what you are losing inthe long run when you adopt one of these fraudulent lives. You may ask, what’s adding a little sizzle hurt any?It’s not the extra energy that you bring to the table as longas it’s your true personality. It is the egregioustransformation from you knowing who you are, to apersonality that you may or may not realize is fraudulent. Whether you call it fake, phony, fraudulent, multiplepersonalities or whatever, it pretty much adds up to thesame thing. It is not who you are. I know, I, not unlikemillions of others, had taken on the ‘Mr. Hollywood’whenever a situation called for it and my color changed likea chameleon to suit my environment. Adolescents are always trying to one up each other in orderto cement themselves into an ever-changing socialstructure. You may see it at the mall when a pack ofthirteen year old girls float through an area you areshopping and their volume is much more accentuated thanthat of 99% of everyone elses.. It is almost as though, since everyone else is always tryingto put on their respective show to the world that if youdon’t, you’re afraid you won’t stand out; you’ll be blandand boring. When you’re not trying to impress the worldwith your made up personality, you’re just that regular Joethat you or anyone else will see as unique.That mindset couldn’t be farther from the truth! In fact,when you change your fundamental persona to suit yourenvironment, you not only hurt yourself with a lie, but youlie to everyone you put this on for. It may be your friends,it may be your family or both. So what would happen if you didn’t put on your plasticface everyday? Wouldn’t you be letting everyone downwho depends on that persona to entertain them, to maketheir existence better? Wouldn’t you be lying again bybeing you because you’ve always been lying? This could not only ruin your social life, but possibly getyou fired because your boss may expect that outgoingsalesperson he first hired. All of a sudden, you want to beyou instead of the fantasy that’s magnetic, appealing andirresistible. I say change to be the real you, even if it does a lot ofdamage. But what if you don’t know who the real you isbecause you’re so stuck in this vacuum that breeds andfeeds fake? Then you need to do some serious “soul searching”.Ask yourself, what means most to you? Wasting precioustime being someone your not, or living your life true andclean? To me, it’s a no brainer, but to others who dislikethemselves so much, this can be one of the most dauntingtasks ever. Why is it so hard to be seen for who we really are?When you’re taking on this false persona, you feel moresecure because your natural persona, as you see it, is notworthy. You’ve clipped its beautiful wings and kept it in acage so if it wanted to fly, it couldn’t, due to your ownsuppression.The most painful thought imaginable is that of the timewasted. Most of the time, years can never be recouped. Inaddition, if change towards your natural personality is neverachieved, your whole life just may be a lie. Not only will you gain more respect from your family andpeers, but more importantly, you will always respectyourself no matter where life may bring you. So make thechange, and don’t waste anymore life, it’s definitely notworth itHow would this look on your headstone? He lived his lifeas a lie, but what a great guy.Don’t be that person. It’s never to late to make changes,no matter how difficult change is. Because being true toyourself as who you really are instead of what you thinkeveryone wants you to be, is absolutely the most selfempowering life you could possibly lead. Not only will you gain more respect from your family andpeers, but more importantly, you will always respectyourself no matter where life may bring you. So make thechange, and don’t waste anymore life, it’s definitely notworth it.--by Brian Maloney-ValuePrep.comWant to improve your personal values?Get high-quality-relationship advice for guys and gals from a 'Logical' standpoint. Visit Relationship Advice for Guys & Women **Attn Ezine editors / Site Owners**Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine or on your website as long as you leave all links in place, do not modify the content and include our resource box as listed above.