Midlife Transitions: What Are the Little Things Keeping You From Your Goals?

Carl Banks was an All-Pro linebacker who played for the New York Giants and was part of their first two Super Bowl champion teams in 1986 and 1990.  Today, Carl is a broadcaster for the Giants, and also does a twice a week appearance on a local radio station in New York City that features sports talk radio.

This past week Carl was speaking about the Giants and in particular how mistakes the team was making were keeping it from having a better record than it should.  He used an excellent analogy.  The mistakes he pointed out started with lack of attention to the little things.  For example, Carl indicated that he was a stickler for instilling discipline in his children.  If they just drop something on the floor and put it anyplace they want instead of where it belongs, and he lets them leave it there, it soon mushrooms into a second thing on the floor and then a third.  Ultimately one day you get to a point where there is a whole set of items all over the floor that make a room look like a mess, and one wonders how it got this way.  As Carl stressed, if he takes the time in the beginning to indicate when the first item is misplaced to have it put where it belongs, it does not grow into the bigger issue if nothing is said.

It’s the same way in reaching our goals.  It is rare someone reaches a goal quickly or in just one step, especially if it is a life changing goal.  Often there are a series of steps to be taken, some big, but many that are small yet important, that must be accomplished along the way.  If for example, your goal is to go on a vacation next summer you may make a vow to yourself to put aside a certain amount of money each week to pay for the trip.   However, if you begin to not do that by spending the money you have allocated for the trip on other items, or saying to yourself you have time before the money is needed for the vacation, the probability grows as you approach the spring and assess your finances you will be no where close to having the money you need.  When summer comes you may be questioning what happened along the way or feeling very down when others are enjoying a good time and you are not able to do so.

When one faces a transition point at mid-life, it occurred either from a choice they made voluntarily, or a set of external circumstances which happened to them to which they now must choose on how they will move forward.In getting back to the example of the New York Giants at the beginning of this article, they are a team that has faced a number of injuries.  Those are external circumstances they have not chosen to happen.  However, the remaining players are still drilled each week by their coaches on planning how they will look to defeat their next opponent.  Part of that drilling is to execute the plan without making mistakes that make things easier for the other team.  When even one of the eleven players on a particular play does something that is against the plan, the chances increase greatly that the play will not be successful which contributes against the team’s overall goal of winning the game.

Therefore, if you continually find yourself questioning why things always seem to go wrong for you, or why others succeed where you do not, take a step back and look at yourself and your life in the mirror.  What habits do you have that later inhibit you from moving forward to successful outcomes?  How did that insurmountable obstacle you are facing actually get started, and what happened along the way to contribute to it?  What steps have you taken in the past are ones that you know going forward that you would not take again given their impact on a desired outcome you expected?

Significant accomplishments happen with the completion of small steps.  With each small step being successful one gets closer and closer to what they are looking to obtain.  As you begin to determine what it is you want next from your life make sure that plan you put together not only has the major steps to accomplishment, but the smaller ones along the way that must happen.  To not do so will have you questioning what went wrong when you fall short of your goals.

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