A night at the ladies-room

Here I am. The Mystic Bar, in front of that secret door. Actually it is not so much the door that is secret because everybody should be able to find it. No, the unknown lies behind it. I have to enter, but wow…..I’m nervous.
I look around me, the female guard is away and nobody is near. I take deep breath and step inside. Four astonished female eyes staring at me. I mutter my well-prepared sentence which contains the word 'clean' and prevent the ladies to respond further. Four quick steps and I am in a toilet, quickly lock the door, grab my small notebook and wait.

What is wrong with me? What self-respecting man takes such an action? Well, I was doing some research for my book. And I needed some sources of information which is normally beyond the reach of a man. I wanted to write a book about the seduction of women which contained new insights. This investigation was really a necessary step. At the end, this was the most enlightening action that I’ve ever taken.

Now I'm here and the sweat is on my forehead. Not that it is hot, there is a pleasant temperature and the atmosphere is enhanced by a soft music. The air is better than ours. The only indications that I am misguided are of course the visitors.

At a ladies-room are mainly women. Did you ever notice that girls always go together and then stay away for a long time? If they return, they are fresh, and there is often something changed in their attitude. The ladies-room is the natural place for needs such as to pee, to put on make-up  and ………to talk. They use the toilet like a conference room, where they evaluate the men. I already thought I knew that women talk about different things in life than we men. And I was so wrong!

Sure, a lot of chit chats. No, not interesting.  The goal of this research is not to determine how the ladies talk about shoes, dresses, bracelets, bags or earrings. My goal was to hear their conversations about men. And I must say, a number of times I was pretty shocked in that toilet. Below is the summery of that evening. All conclusions about the ladies are made purely on the sound of their voice and can completely miss the truth.

Girl with beautiful voice: “How is it going with Rick?”
Girl with sexy voice: “OK, I think. We have seen each other three times now, it's time that I see his dick to know whether I would go on with him.”

Or:

Girl with big breasts (at least they sounded big): “It was a bit strange, he's circumcised”
Girlfriend with big booty: "Oh yes, I know it’s very hard to jerk him off then”
Big Breasts: “Right, but it’s nice to give a blowjob to a circumcised man”

Or:

“Those two can pay for all our drinks”
“Who would you have?”
“None of the two. You?”
“Mmm… no thank you”
“OK… five glasses of wine and then we go looking for two nice boys.”

“I have had it with him”
“Yes what a needy man!”
“I do not want to hurt him, finally, it is a friend of Steven”
“I will help you. I say that I have a headache en you have to bring me home”

Girl with glasses: “He is very boring!”
Girl with other glasses: “Yes, that's true, but he is very loyal”
“Then I would go for him if I were you.”

Conclusion: Girls with glasses prefer boring loyal men.

Girl with cigarette “He is so sweet, I think I'm in love.”
Girlfriend with long legs: “Did you already kiss”
Cigarette “Yes, and more than that.”
Girlfriend with long legs: “You know that you must not sleep with a guy on the first date”
Cigarette “I know, but it felt very special. It was quite okay.”
Girlfriend with long legs: “When you see him again?”
Cigarette “I do not know, I hope that he is calling.”
Girlfriend with long legs: “Oh no. Now he has the power”

Girl: “Do you mind if I Sander tonight to take home?”
Other girl: “No, but on one condition… That you tell me all the details”
Giggling!!

Girlfriend: “How was it with Charles?”
Girl “Fun for one night, only he has some rare cock.”
“Why?”
“He is skewed, which can be quite difficult.”
“Oh, better than skewed too small.”
“No, he was certainly not small.”

In the three hours that I was in the toilet,  I heard many more calls that affected my image of the woman forever. I really do not understand why there is a sign called 'ladies' on the door, because the women of today are absolutely no ladies.

I have learned a lot that night. But, am I happier now……..I don’t know.