Peter Harris

Can I Prevent My Man From Leaving? Understanding Why Men Leave

For as many men as there are in relationships there are likely as many reasons as to why men leave a relationship. I will discuss a few reasons why men leave a relationship. This is simply a summary of a conversation that I had with a bunch of my idiot friends. This information is not backed up with any psychological basis or theory. These are just the honest words spoken from the mouths of real guys in real relationships.

The psychological basis of why men leave a relationship runs deep and complex. If that is what you are looking for then this article is not for you. What this article covers is a summary of what a bunch of guys were talking about when asked the question, why do you want to leave your girlfriend?

When one guy in the group made the statement "I'm thinking of leaving my girlfriend." Another responds "why would you leave that set up? Seems like you've got it made." The conversation starts. So why would he leave a relationship that seems to be going so well? His answer was tangential and scattered. He really didn't make any sense at all. Another guy jumps in and says answer the question with the first one or two words that pop into your tiny little brain. So he's asked again and this time he instantly says "I'm bored."

We decided to ask that question of everyone in the group with the challenge of stating the first one or two words that came to mind. Here's the responses: I'm bored (2); the thrill is gone (2); I miss the hunt (3); no variety (1); I can do better (2); I want my freedom (1). Looks like a common theme here. The majority of the responses are centered around boredom and routine. It sounds like the excitement has vanished and the relationship has lost its spark.

Our group of guys enhanced on this theme stating that in the initial phases of a relationship there is that excitement of trying to win over the lady. Trying to do anything that you can to make her notice you or express some interest in you. We are out there hunting and we want to capture our prey. The ritual of trying to impress a woman comes with a certain exhilarating thrill. Guys want an ego boost when it comes to women. We want that conquest and it really builds our egos when we make it happen.

So as long as we can keep the thrill of the hunt going we stand a better chance of keeping the relationship alive. Is that what it comes down to? Some of my bozo friends responded with a resounding yes! But how do you keep that feeling as you settle into a relationship and spontaneity is replaced with routine and responsibility? Our discussion came to a quick halt when our wives and girlfriends started to join us. We would have to solve the world's relationship problems on another day.

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