Gordon Chandler

Relationships Consist Of Two Lovers...Breakups Involve The Actions of Both of Them

This human race we all belong is a wonderful species.  Just a casual glance can lead to a wild and wonderful romantic life between two people.  When they become accustomed to each other this casual glance can also spark an arguement that ends up in a relationship breakup.  Breakups are not as difficult to handle and solve as we may want to think.  Just a little introspection and a great attitude and love can once again return to the lives of these lovers.

If you are spending your free time reading articles like this one you are either easily amused or looking for a solution to that “empty” feeling that comes around when your lover breaks off the relationship.  While together your evenings consisted of normal things like taking a walk, washing the dishes or jumping into bed together.  Alone now and you no longer feel like a walk in the park, there is absolutely no way you will wash dishes until the sink is full and bed?  Well if you start jumping into bed for the same reason you did as a couple you probably are not going to brag to your friends about the conquest!  So now your question is how to reverse this situation and get back into a love-groove.

Probably the number one thing you have to get back on track is yourself.  This is the time to take a look at yourself and decide how you helped crash this love-life.  Mathematics show us that it took both of you to create a relationship and both of you have some responsibility in the breakup.  What your love did or did not do is secondary at this point.  Get hold of yourself, admit your mistakes and start taking actions to get rid of them. Probably they are all self-centered, meaning that it is up to you to correct them:

·    Being a Control Freak. Watch some television or read a book or two and you might wonder why this has to be discussed. Relationships are not democracies.  It is only natural that one of the lovers will take charge, will be the dominant one.  This will depend upon individual personalities and does not mean that you own the other person.  If you over do your leadership and start treating your love like a slave then watch out!  Over domineering partners, whether the male or female, will definitely put the relationship on rocky ground.  If this is you then…STOP IT. Your loved one is a person with needs and wants.  Learn to be cognitive of this and you will make headway in the renewal of the relationship.

·    Cheating On Your Partner. If you don’t get this then we know where to send the “DUH” award of the week.  If you cannot learn to control this very base instinct then there is no way you belong in a relationship.  If you do not want to consider the emotional trauma to your partner then think of the possible consequences of disease!

·    Do You Care About And Concerns For Your Partners Feelings?  Once again, lets get on the same page here….this is a relationship.  The inherent meaning here is that a loving couple wants to share with each other most of what goes on in their lives.  There are probably many times you want to jump for joy about something fantastic that happened.  When you do you feel great when your partner expresses interest in the story.  Do you share this interest in their stories?  If not then you know where to start working.  Communication is a two way street and involves LISTENING as well as talking.

The lesson here is that if you recently suffered a breakup in your love life you need to start with yourself in order to correct the problems. If you automatically place the blame on your partner (ex-partner?) then renewal of this love life is doubtful.  Get hold of your own inadequacies and then you might be in a position to help your lover start working on their own.

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