How To Stop A Divorce: Recognise the Distress Signals in Your Marriage Early!

Apr 19
19:35

2008

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Is your marriage in trouble? Is your spouse sending out an SOS? By learning to recognise these distress signals in your daily life, you can take the steps you need to save your marriage TODAY!

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We've all heard stories about couples who have been happily married for fifteen or twenty years,How To Stop A Divorce: Recognise the Distress Signals in Your Marriage Early! Articles but suddenly split.

You may even know a few of these couples. Divorce can be devastating for an entire family, but there is hope.

These happily married couples you have heard about probably weren't so happy, and if these signs of unhappiness would have been spotting earlier in the relationship, the marriage could have been saved.

Is your spouse sending out an SOS? By learning these distress signals, you can take the steps you need to save your marriage.

1) An SOS from Between the Sheets

The first place you can look to gage the strength of your marriage is in the bedroom. After twenty years of marriage, you might not be engaging in sexual activities every night, but if you and your partner go weeks or months without a little lovin', there's probably something deeper going on.

Do you still feel sexually attracted to your partner? Does he or she still feel sexually attracted to you? If one of you makes advances often, but the spark fizzles quickly, you need to address this problem.

Talk to your partner about specific sexual wants and needs that you can fulfill. You can even look into purchasing toys, videos, and other bedtime items to help make your experiences more fun and adventurous.

Many couples, as they grow older, lose sexual drive. If both of you agree that you do not need or want sex anymore, you can still have a very healthy relationship.

However, watch for other common signs that your relationship may be in trouble. Do you often forget to say "I love you" before going to sleep?

Do you go to bed at drastically different times? Do you sleep in separate bedrooms? If you've answered yes to any of these questions, talk to your partner to make sure you are both happy with how the marriage has grown.

2) An SOS from the Kitchen

Another common mistake in marriages is poor distribution of household chores.

When both partners have busy schedules, it is important to share tasks such as cooking dinner, washing the dishes, scrubbing the floor, cleaning the bathroom, and caring for the children.

If one partner is doing significantly more of the household work than the other, or if no one is doing the work at all, your marriage could be in trouble.

Why?

With one person doing all the work, there is little time to spend together. Parents of small children may strive to find a single moment's peace without any luck.

However, if you share household tasks, you can have the extra time to watch a movie together, hire a babysitter and go out for the evening, or simply enjoy one another's conversation.

If you look around your house and no one seems to be doing the work, this could also indicate problems.

Was your situation always messy or has your partner simply stopped doing work? When one person is doing all the work, they may harbor resentment toward the other.

In any case, a messy, cluttered house is more stressful for everyone and may indicate schedules that are too busy to clean. When schedules are overloaded, it may also mean you have no time for one another. Fix that problem, and you've on the way to fixing your marriage.

3) An SOS from the Garage

Does your husband spend all of his free time in the garage? Does your wife spend all of her free time out with the girls?

If you and your spouse spend no time together because you'd rather be doing something else, consider it an SOS.

There's nothing wrong with having separate hobbies. In fact, all couples need a little time apart.

However, if you find that another activity is more pleasant than spending time with your partner, you may be in trouble. Also watch for another tale-tell sign  a partner that enjoys something else more than spending time with you.

You don't have to give up your other hobby completely. Instead, find ways to incorporate your spouse into your hobby so that you can enjoy it together.

If you like to spend your days working on your car, grab your wife and go to a car show together. If you like to read, take your husband to see the latest movie based off of a book.

Most importantly, find things you love to do together. You don't have to give up your own identity to make your marriage work, but you do have to have your priorities straight.

Remember, to make a marriage work, you need two people who are willing to work towards making it better. You marriage should be the most important thing in your life.