Going on a first date is all about learning about your date. Some of the more sensitive stuff like beliefs and goals are not usually touched on a firs...
Going on a first date is all about learning about your date. Some of the more sensitive stuff like beliefs and goals are not usually touched on a first date. But I’m assuming you don’t want to find out months down the road that you are really not compatible,
so it’s important to get as much information from your date that you can.
Some Important Stuff To Have if You Want To Make This Work
A Plan – You will need to go in there knowing exactly the questions you want to ask that will give you the most bang for your buck.
A Non-Judgemental Attitude – You will need to appear as though you are not judging them in any way, shape, or form if you want them to share with you. If you do not seem very accepting then your date is going to clam up out of fear of your judgement or lack of interest.
Some Answers of Your Own – If you want to get the information you want then you have to give information. Not sharing information that you want from them will cause them to become suspicious of you and lose any trust they have in you.
How To Behave on Your First Date
1. Decide on the issues you really want to know before the date. These should be things that will create or put a halt to a potential relationship. Maybe morals are important to you, maybe future desires like marriage and kids are important to you. Your goal should be to find out the stuff that really matters to you.
2. Keep the start of the date casual. The weather, common likes and dislikes, and the place you are at are all good things to talk about to loosen up the mood. Keep the tone of the date light and fun so that you both stay on a positive note.
3. After you feel as though the atmosphere is light and fun you can bring up your first topic of interest, but divulge the information about yourself instead of requiring your date to answer a question. When you bring up things about yourself your date will naturally feel as though you are just sharing with them and want to participate in the sharing.
For instance, if you want to know what kind of morals they have then talk about an incident or a conflict that you have been having and see how they answer. You can say something like “My family member has been stealing money from my register and I’m not sure what to do.” The answer that they share with you should show you what they would do and what kind of morals they really have.
4. Once you discover what you want to learn start with step number 1 again by keeping the mood light and fun.
5. Talk about something else you want to find out.
Cautions to This Method
1. If they do not divulge what you want to know then move on to the lighthearted part of the conversation again and try again later. If you keep prying for them to answer then they are not going to feel comfortable with talking to you anymore.
2. Don’t show tons of interest in their answer, but don’t be over-interested in it. If you show either extreme then they will wonder why you really brought up that information about yourself and or whether you are really interested in them.
3. Learn the art of softly moving into new topics. If you are discussing your work and suddenly talk about your desire to have kids, then you are going to throw of your date and leave them questioning your sanity.
