Relationship Advice - Why Does Nobody Listen?

There are experts in relationships who have studied relationships and the behaviour that comes with them. There are also people who have been through many different relationship experiences and learned from those experiences. Both of these people have valid relationship advice that you may want to listen to, but I find that the majority of people out there don't listen to this advice. Why? There are a few reasons - but one really stands out as the frontrunner.

It's Not What They Want to Hear

I have seen someone ask if they should leave their abusive partner more times than I can count. Of course the main answer they get is a loud and clear "Yes!" with many reasons to back it up. But in the midst of those yeses there is bound to be a no. And if the person does not really want to leave their abusive partner or is fearful of doing so, they tend to listen to that no answer even if they get a million yeses.

In the end people do what they want to do no matter what anyone tells them is the right thing to do. The reason they ask for advice is because they are confused or unsure of what they want to do, or they are going through a rough time, but inside their head they already have an answer to their question that feels comfortable to them and will ultimately guide them in their decision.

The only way other people's relationship advice can influence them is if they are already on a way to a big change in their way of thinking. If their mind has already crossed over into the realm of 'yes I should leave them' then they will be willing to listen to all of the yeses without a problem.

Why Bother Giving Relationship Advice?

You may think that if a very large percentage of people are not going to listen to your relationship advice then it may be a waste of time to give your opinion to them, but that's not true.

They may not want to hear what you are saying, but in the end they will remember it. This means that if they decide one day to change their mind about their relationship then your information is going to be brought to the forefront of their mind. They are going to need that information and those reasons to validate their new way of thinking.

For instance, you can tell someone to leave their abusive partner all you want. You can literally give them valid reasons for leaving their partner that are almost ridiculous to ignore. And they probably will ignore them to begin with. But one day they may discover that they WANT to leave their partner and your reasons will help them understand why it is a really good idea to do so.

So in the end your relationship advice matters to them, and if you can help them down the road that's better than not helping them at all.