When Your Ex Comes Back

You've moved on with your life! You're happy! You're settled! And then your ex comes back into your life and seems to want you back. Now you are confused and wondering what to do.

So what do you do? Chances are that the bad feelings you had towards them are almost gone. Time has a way of chipping away hard feelings. So you don't have that anger, disgust, or even indifference that you used to have towards them.

Instead you probably are remembering all the good times you had and the way you felt so comfortable with your ex during the relationship. And the more you think about it the more you miss that feeling of being comfortable and in a relationship with someone you care about. This is the most important time to stop and tack a step back.

If You Are Leaning Towards Taking Your Ex Back

Chances are that after remembering the good times and pushing away the bad times you are starting to think about getting back together with you ex. You may say things to yourself like "They've changed!" or "The problems we had may all be gone!" and you are starting to literally talk yourself back into a relationship with your ex.

STOP! Many people have been where you are in this exact moment and have jumped back into the relationship, and if you were to ask them how it worked out you would find that the majority of relationships do not turn out happily ever after!

Actually second-time around relationships usually end exactly the same way the first-time around relationship ended. You breakup! And not only do you breakup, but you breakup for the exact same issues that you had the first time around! This is the problem with taking your ex back.

You haven't dealt with the negative issues that caused you to break up in the first place. If you expect the same comfortable feeling, same traditions, and same relationship as before, then you can also expect to have the same habits or conflicts that caused the relationship to end. You have to make a change to ensure those negative issues that caused your breakup don't reappear the second time around.

How To Remove The Issues

Instead of jumping back into the relationship, sit down and discuss where you went wrong before. What was the cause of your breakup? What was the behaviour, belief, or attitude that got in the way of a happy and healthy relationship?

Discuss exactly where you went wrong in the relationship and brainstorm ways to fix those issues so they never happen again. Then put a plan into place to eradicate those issues completely. This may involve counselling, modifying behaviour, or even changing certain habits. Whatever it takes, it should be done if you want to succeed this time around in the relationship.