Catherine Behan

Would You Rather Be Happy…..Or Right?

I love men.

I really do.

But one of the things that is toughest for me is when the man in my life thinks he is right when I am pretty darn sure that he is not.

It has been a challenge to pick my battles carefully. If it is critical that he know that he is not as right as he thinks he is, I am building the courage and the vocabulary to gently express myself. This morning I mentioned that I met a new friend, a medical doctor, and that I wanted to nurture the relationship.

His reaction was, “You know, you have to watch that kind of thing.” My immediate reaction was to defend myself by saying, “Why are you….(always so negative).” Parentheses because I stopped myself (boy did it take me forever to stop myself midstream!) I changed my language and said, “That sounded negative to me, what do you mean?”

He then explained to me that a friendship with a medical person could be hampered by asking for free medical advice and then told a personal story that supported his feelings. I then explained that I was aware of that and further explained why I enjoyed my conversations with this gifted young man interested in healing the whole being.

It was important for me to express myself this time and I did. The exchange was positive and I felt happy that he saw my perspective and accepted it.

There are other times, and ladies, I suggest you find as many of these as you possibly can, where I say “You are right about that.” even if he is not quite as right I think he thinks he is. When he expresses an opinion about something I am not emotionally invested in, I eagerly agree knowing his heart expands when I do so.

For example, if he is talking about the high salaries of major league athletes, I really don’t care and could say nothing, but I now know that saying…”You’re right about that.” scores me mega points in his eyes, whether he consciously realizes it or not!

Then, if I need to express something because he is wrong about something important, I have created a comfort zone with him and he is more open to me.

I like being happy. I like it alot!

Maybe being right is overrated!

We really are in this together!

Catherine

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