“What have you unlearned today, dear?” I bet that is a question that most parents don’t ask their children when they get home from school! Children aren’t the ones carrying around a lot of emotional and behavioral baggage though – we grown-ups are.
So asking ourselves what we need to “unlearn” is actually an important question to ask. Why? Our journey to success and conquering new challenges is actually dependent on our ability to shed and release old baggage that no longer serves us. I’m talking about the old limiting beliefs that tell us we’re not worthy, or old “habit hangovers” like procrastination or minimizing ourselves because we don’t want to draw “too much attention” to ourselves.
If you missed Part 1 of this series, you can find it here. I shared some strategies for unlearning unhealthy food habits and toxic self-talk. In today’s issue, I wanted to offer 3 more pieces to this “unlearning” curriculum to help round our this internal “spring tune-up.”
Unlearning #3: Unlearning Tolerating Chaotic Environments
Take a quick scan of your physical environment of your home and your office. Look at the interior of your car, your purse, your wallet, your gym bag. What about the inside of your cupboards, closets and drawers. Notice what happened to your energy as you even mentally just reviewed your environment. Do you feel energized or drained by your physical environment?
If you are tolerating clutter, disorganization and confusion in your physical environment you are setting yourself up for …a consistent level of distraction and energy leaks. (Believe me, this is one I myself have to always keep on my toes about!) Being able to thrive no matter what Is going on around you is largely a matter of learning how to manage and shift your energy. Tolerating chaos in your environment for prolonged periods of time starts to create inner chaos that leaves you feeling overwhelmed, lacking focus and stuck in procrastination.
Action Step: The best antidote here is fast, powerful action. As soon as you finish reading this article, quickly jot down 10 areas where you are tolerating chaos in your physical environment. Commit to tackling the top area on your list within the next 7 days. Don’t get stuck in perfectionism here – the goal is to at least put a dent in it. Mark on your calendar when you are going to handle the situation.
Unlearning #4: Unlearning Draining Friendships
Now that you’ve scanned your physical environment, it’s time to look at whether your social environment is supporting you in bringing forth the greatest version of you. Are there any friendships or relationships that are draining you? These can be people who are stuck feeling powerless and a victim of their life circumstances, and want to make sure you know all the details of their ongoing sagas. There might be people who are judgmental dream stealers, who are more interested in telling you their opinion instead of listening to you with an open mind. You may even be related to some of these people, either by birth or marriage.
Unlearning draining friendships and relationships requires you to develop discernment. It requires you to create healthy boundaries with the people in your life. It may also require you to release some relationships that do not support you as you grow and evolve.
Action Step: Scan your social environment right now if there are any relationships you may need to release. Identify one boundary you need to put in place to minimize any energy leaks. An example of a boundary could be making an agreement to not listen to “pity party” conversations or reducing how many unscheduled phone calls you have with this person.
Unlearning #5: Unlearning Working Hard at All Costs
You know the saying “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Well, maybe the “tough” should actually stop and take a few deep breaths instead. Taking time to get quiet to listen to the voice of their intuition can save you a heap of effort by confirming whether this path ahead that appears to be blocked with obstacles is the one you are supposed to be pursuing.
We need to unlearn this belief that bulldozing our way through problems is the only solution. The credo to work harder, work more, and muscle your way through all obstacles like an angry mother bear defending her cub from danger may, or may not be the right answer but it certainly is exhausting. When you take time to get clear about our intention and purpose upfront, you often find that you’re so tapped into the flow that you seem to be able to get more done with way less effort.
Action Step: Is there a place where you seem to be running up against a brick wall all the time? Stop for a moment. Check in with your inner wisdom and ask yourself “What lesson can I learn from this experience of resistance right now? Where can I let go so I can be more in flow?”
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