How to Recognize an Unhealthy Relationship

Sep 4
09:09

2009

Kathi Calahan

Kathi Calahan

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There are 12 red flags you should be aware of before you commit to love.

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Whether you are a teenager or an adult,How to Recognize an Unhealthy Relationship Articles if you see any of these red flags early on in the relationship, look out and move on!  Avoid setting yourself up for heartbreak and don’t become intimate with anyone you do not know well.

1.        Ego-Centered:  He/she never asks about your day, your wants, or your needs.  The only song they know is “Me, me, me, and me.”

2.        Stingy:  Won’t take you out, even for a walk.

3.        Verbally Abusive:  Yells, name calls or ignores you when you ask to discuss your concerns.

4.        Private:  After dating for awhile, why won’t he or she show you where they live or give you their land line phone number?  See #7.

5.        Dislikes Children & Pets:  Especially if you have both.  It’s a big anti-social warning when someone adamantly refuses to engage with either.  And you’ll never change them.  They have bigger problems than you should be trying to resolve.

6.        Critical:  If when the two of you go out to dinner and your date/mate criticizes everything and everyone, it’s just a matter of time before you’re next.

7.        Married:  If Mr. /Ms. Wonderful are already in a committed relationship, what in the world are you thinking???  You are the 3rd wheel and a trouble maker for the hope of their family.  Get out and find some self respect.  If they’ll do it with you, they’ll do it to you later.

8.        Addictions:  The come in a variety of packages; drugs, alcohol, TV, work, sex, sleeping.  If your beloved has addictions of any sort, they need more than your help.

9.        Religious Incompatibility:  It’s rare that a couple will ever overcome religious differences if religion is a priority to them.

10.     Career:  Chronically out of work?  Workaholic?  Unless you’re prepared to pay all the bills or take second place in their priorities, avoid anyone with an imbalance in this area.

11.     Friends:  Are there other “couple friends” that you both make an effort to see regularly?  If the only friends your mate has are single, your relationship is in trouble.

12.     Victim:  If their attitude is, “Poor me.  Nothing good ever happens to me,” then run!  If you are now in their life and they won’t include your name in their list of blessings, if they have any, then get out.  Some people enjoy the victim role too much and if you try to help them see their blessings, you’ll become exhausted.  They need more help than you can offer.

Everyone who enters a relationship comes with baggage.  There’s just no getting around that fact.  The question is, do they care enough about you and the relationship to go get help?  If the answer is no, protect your heart and move on.  If the answer is yes, you’re in luck.  Don’t waste another minute and search out good relationship help, even if you’re considering divorce.

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