Getting A Better Education And A Better Job When You're Divorced
Divorce might be one of the most challenging events of your life experience to date. Your emotions are in a blender. If you have children, you are financially, spiritually and physically responsible for your child, his welfare, his education, and his stability. You might consider doing some planning for the future to assure that. Here are some tips from Divorced Dad, Len Stauffenger, author of "Getting Over It! Wisdom for Divorced Parents"
Surely one of the most emotionally-charged times of your lifetime is the time you are forced to process the ideas involved in your divorce. Many, many fears will raise up during this time. Questions about the future will be there in abundance. Planning for that future is necessary.
If you are going to become (or already are) a single parent, then the responsibility for raising your children might well fall onto your shoulders. If the other parent is in that picture as a co-custodial parent, so much the better. Whether you like it or not, the bottom line is that the financial, spiritual and physical well-being of your child is your responsibility. You must look after his welfare, education and psychological stability and it's a big job.
You'll need a good job with a good salary to accomplish this child-raising task and you'll need a great education to get that good job. So let's get busy and determine what your options are:
Benchmarking: Here are some questions to ask yourself to see what your current situation is. Where are you right now? Do you have a place to live? Do you have adequate furniture and the other things it takes to keep house? Is my car reliable transportation? Have you a custody settlement plan in place with a good attorney? Are you working on a Parenting Plan you can both agree upon?
Next steps: If you have answered in the negative for any of the questions above, you can take one more step. Is there anything I can do that will change where I am right now? Who can I put on a list of My Support People? Are there community resources available to help you achieve what you desire in any of the areas above? Many states offer Parenting Workshops through the court systems. Avail yourself of their guidance. The cost is nominal?
Make a New Plan: Keeping your child's welfare in the forefront of your mind, what are the ideal pictures you have for a good life for that child? For his education? For his stability? For helping him to mature? Is your current job enough to accomplish your ideal plan? What else do you need to do? Do you require more education? Where can you get it? Does the training institution have education funds you can use?
A Career Path: You will need to see yourself getting raises, promotions, having a successful career in order to raise your child well. What does that look like to you? Where do you see yourself working - in what industry? What career is really appealing to you even if you might not be working in that career right now? You'll be setting a great example for your children if you work to achieve your dreams. Let them know they can help you to achieve "our" dreams even if it's just giving you some quiet so you can get your homework done.
Communicating the New Plan to Your Child: Always include your children in your plans. Let them know what you are planning for the future. Tell them how they can help you to achieve your plan. Tell them how, when you achieve your plan, it will benefit them. When your newly divorced life becomes "our" new life, it helps bring comfort and a sense of stability to your child so they can do well in their own experience. And a good plan will help you to put all those early-on fears to rest.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
In his book "Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents," Len Stauffenger shares his simple wisdom gleaned from his divorce with his daughters and with you. Len is a Success Coach and an Attorney. You can purchase Len's book and it's accompanying workbook at http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com