How to stop fear from robbing your dreams and ambtions for a better life.
And the real sad part is that the people involved give in to their fears and kill their beautiful dream. Any chance of experiencing a fulfilled happy life, of living the life they truly want, evaporates.
Are you killing your beautiful dream too?I want to share with you a true story by way of example.
Recently, I met up with a good friend of mine for a drink. I hadn’t seen her for a while and was looking forward to meeting up. Nikkie is a very talented dancer who’s never happier than when she’s dancing. When I last saw her, she was buzzing with excitement about 2 stage shows she was performing in and told me of her plans to finish her IT degree course then move to London to pursue her dancing professionally. Eventually, she’d manage her own studio and teach.
What a great dream, yes? Dancing and performing for a living, then teaching the art to others. Fantastic!Her eyes sparkled and she had a real buzz about her. Have you ever felt this way about something? Passion! A constant, unwavering, motivating, inspiring PASSION. Believe me, it is something I love to find in people. People who feel this way about their dream crackle with energy and are busy living life.
I couldn’t wait to hear how her plans were progressing and how her shows had gone. Yes, she’s attractive, but what attracted me the most was her passion for her dream. Passion is contagious!OK, get the tissues ready because here’s the sad news:
We met and I knew instantly something had changed. She told me about how hard her exams had been but she’d obtained her degree. “Well done, now, what’s happening with your dancing? How did the shows go?”She replied that the shows were fine and then knocked me for 6: “I’ve decided not to pursue dancing now. I’ve started a graduate management training scheme and I’m going to have a career in IT instead.
”I tried hard to convince her to pursue her dream but the buzz had gone. She’d always said the degree was just for back up and I reminded her of this and she said, resignedly: “things have changed. Dancing is just for fun now.
”At the root of her decision is fear. The usual fear excuses were all trotted out:
“It’s so difficult to break in to the top level.”
“I’d have to move away from home, I’d miss my family and I’d be on my own in a big city.”
“There’s more money in IT.”
I told her others had overcome the first two therefore, she could. But the last one is the key. I had a fantastic career in IT – I love working with computers, always have. Conversely, Nikkie worked for 6 weeks last summer in an office and HATED EVERY SECOND of it. She was bored because it wasn’t active enough for her. And now, with a degree in her hand, she’s willing to sell-out on her dream to do something she hates purely for money and security.
She isn’t the first to kill her dream for these reasons and she won’t be the last.
I feel sorry for her. Because now she’ll never know how far she could’ve got as a dancer. Maybe she’ll return to it and teach and I really hope she does. But it won’t be as the wonderfully fulfilled person who gave everything for her dream and experienced tremendous satisfaction and the greatest reward of all: the happiness that comes from achieving success having overcome challenge after challenge.
Yes, pursuing a dream is tough. There will be endless hours of work, years of dedication, tears of frustration, setbacks, sticking points and failures. They’re the price demanded by success. But it’s worth every single second of it when finally, the day dawns when your efforts start to bear fruit. It’s a very special feeling, the biggest buzz you or I can ever have.
Your dream is special. You don’t need anyone’s approval for it and you don’t need to be frightened of it. Commit to it. Honestly, you will not regret it no matter what happens. But if you kill it, well…I’ll leave you with the same words I said to Nikkie as we parted:
“As the years pass, age will bring you time to reflect on your life. If you live a dream your memories will bring you joy and comfort. If you betray it, the memory of your betrayal will haunt you because you’ll never know how high you could’ve flown. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Please don’t give up on your dream.
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How about that for a provocative question! I'm sure your immediate answer is "Of course!" But many people who answer in this way simply aren't really serious about achieving success. Let me explain.
