Mike Moore

Becoming Assertive

If you're one of the many who find it difficult to assert themselves the following might be of assistance. Remember, you don't exist on this planet to be someone's doormat.

1. Don't avoid expressing your negative or critical feelings. They are not bad or improper, they are just your feelings and you are entitled to them.

2. Feelings aren't facts. They are just feelings.

3. Use "I" Language to indicate that the feelings you are expressing are yours. You are not accusing or judging anyone.

4. You don't have to justify your feelings, you only need to state them.

5. Assertive behaviour discloses your wants, needs ,preferences and opinions. Aggressive behaviour discounts, ignores and over-rides the wants, needs, preferences and opinions of others.

6. Assertive behaviour supports your own dignity, while aggressive behaviour demeans the dignity of others.

7. Toxic people usually put others down when relating to them , with a look of distain, a sarcastic remark or direct verbal bullying.

8. You must have the courage to be assertive.

This is a excerpt from Mike Moore's manual DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE For more information send a blank email to talk@followingup.com

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