Building Solid Relationships Using the Power of Words

We may not be aware of it; but the words we utter daily may have different interpretations, even if you think thatthey mean the same thing.

Here's an example.

Would you rather have someone tell you that you are "slim,"or would you like to hear that you are "thin?" Being slimhas a slightly positive effect because it is attributed tohealth and fitness.

Rather than saying you have failed, just mention that youhave not yet achieved success. Get the picture? Alwaystry to speak words in the most positive manner you canthink of.

Here's another important advice.

Never compare the negative qualities of one person withanother.

A former boss of mine has this to say to me when I madean error in my previous day job, "James (not real name) isdoing a much better job than you are. He's not committingany mistake like you do."

That crushed my heart. My boss thought this would motivateme to do better. Nope, it just hurt my feelings and loweredmy self-esteem. Of course, I would never make the samemistake again after her harsh scolding. I've learned mylesson well. But she could have said it nicely.

Experiences arising from discouragement and condemnationwill have a negative effect on the recipient.

Some parents might believe that instilling fear on theirchildren would improve their performance. They wouldsay, "You're always failing. Why can't you be like yourbrother? You're such a disgrace to this family."

Now that's not the proper way to do it. They should inspire,encourage, and motivate their children; not belittle themeven further.

They should tell their children that they have the capacityto achieve great things, if they would only put a little moreeffort. Teach them values that would make them feel importantand loved.

You may even go as far as giving them qualities that theydo not yet possess. By giving them confidence and by makingthem believe that they have such characteristics, they willeventually acquire such traits. Tell them how bright youthink they are, and you will soon be surprised at theresults. They will significantly improve if you firmly madethem believe that they have the capacity to do so.

So if you ever wanted to persuade or encourage someone to dobetter, make sure that he or she is motivated out ofinspiration, and not out of fear. Give advice that cares,and not offensive words borne out of hatred or anger.

Think first before you speak. Many relationships have beenruined by the wrong choice of words. Some people voice outanything that comes to their mind, without first filtering the good words from the bad ones. This might result inmisunderstandings and arguments, which could have easilybeen prevented if we speak out in a way that is neutraland non-offensive.

Words are very powerful indeed. Use them responsibly forthe benefit of all.