Confidence is a foreign feeling to the anxious; here is what it feels like and how to gain more of it.
Many of us anxiety-sufferers have been so anxious for so long that we really have no idea of any other kind of life. Some of us will think that feeling constantly anxious,
sweating, afraid, and nervous about everything is the way that we were meant to live and that things can be no other way. Some of us even try to convince ourselves that we are the only ones who feel this way, while others try to convince themselves that everyone feels this level of anxiety.
But, fortunately, there is another way to feel and to live life, no matter how hard we want to believe otherwise. Confidence is the name of the feeling that is at the opposite extreme of anxious. Many of us have only felt this feeling for but a few fleeting moments, while others have not experienced it for years. Being anxious means that we are afraid of perceived threats or of failing, however that failure might look like to us. Physical symptoms that we experience when are anxious can vary widely and can include sweating, tingling, or shaking, to name a few. However, those of us who have managed to grow past some of our anxious feelings have experienced confidence enough to know what it is and to know that we want more of it.
When a person feels confident, he or she either has no worries going through his or her head, or is able to realize that these worries are not realistic and will be overcome. A confident person feels happy and relaxed, and knows that things will go well, or that if trouble does come, that it will eventually be overcome. Confident persons feel a general sense of well-being and happiness; their muscles feel warm, relaxed, and as though they have a broad range of movement. This feeling is much more pleasant and far more preferable to the feeling of anxiety.
It seems necessary to explain this feeling because it gives those of us who are anxiety-sufferers knowledge of a goal for which to aim. The Anxiety Support Network speaks endlessly about recovery from anxiety, but it is very helpful to know some of the products of recovery and what those products are like. Besides the important benefit of an intangible feeling that is preferable to anxiety, many tangible benefits come into one’s life as well, but these will be discussed in the future.
The next question that an anxiety-sufferer may ask is,“How much confidence should I aim for? Is it possible to be confident and relaxed most of the time, or all of the time?” The answer to this question is relative, in my opinion. Some people may be happy with occasional confidence, while still being anxious in most situations. Others are happy to be confident in certain situations that
enable one to enhance the quality of his or her life, situations such as one-on-one interpersonal interactions, being able to go out in public, or perhaps being able to drive a car. Others like me, who are idealists, want to completely eliminate that anxious feeling in all situations. Is this a realistic goal? The answer is probably no. But, if one continues to pursue complete relaxation as a goal, then one will notice that anxiety in many other situations reduces or eliminates entirely while pursuing this goal.
My personal belief is that experiencing the least amount of useless anxiety (anxiety is helpful in some situations) is the best life. Others may disagree or have their own definitions, and that is certainly fine for them. But, the more anxiety that can be reduced, it seems to me, the more pleasant and enjoyable life becomes.
