The best way to build your self-esteem is not to artificially try to prop it up with some positive reinforcement, but rather to approach it indirectly. There is a direct relationship between self-esteem and purpose. When you lay hold of your life’s purpose and work at fulfilling it, you'll sense a proportional increase in your self-esteem.
Sticker shock – have you experienced it? That sudden reality-check slaps us hard in the face and usually sends us back for another look at our bank balance. Prices are going up all the time, in almost every market. With today's growing global economy it doesn't seem likely that prices will come down either. The best edge a consumer can have is to know the best price at the moment of purchase. So we sit with the promotional materials, scan the newspapers, and wait for the sales.
The price of an object is often linked to its value. But, although we talk a lot about the price of things these days, we very rarely talk about their value. Oscar Wilde said that a cynic is a person who knows "the price of everything, but the value of nothing." He may have been speaking prophetically because cynicism is a characteristic that marks our times. A casual glance at the world news will tell you that the value of human life seems to be dwindling. Many become victims of some senseless act of violence, or held hostage by some form of totalitarian oppression. Human life seems to hold little value. This isn't the way we want to live. Our children need to be taught that they are worth something to us, and to this world. Value is defined as that quality of a thing that makes it more or less desirable or useful. But what quality do we have that makes us valuable?
Today schools try to teach the value and dignity of human life. Self-esteem seminars are very popular; psychologists and counselors are happy to help us with this shrinking opinion of ourselves. In this postmodern world we have come to realize that if we don't build in some value, the market forces will quickly reduce us to being merely a "consumer" or a "number." Popular psychology would have us believe that we are just the sum of the chemical components in our bodies. People are no longer responsible for their behavior because, we say, they have a genetic predisposition for that behavior. If this is true then I am nothing more than a machine programmed for a certain set of behavior. And even if I don't think this way about myself, others choose to treat me as such. Further, our self-destructive actions belie any assurance we may hold that human beings have intrinsic value. The assumption that the creation of the universe was a great cosmic accident plays well into the hands of our diminishing self-image. How can I believe that I'm an accident and have intrinsic value at the same time? Am I a "valuable accident?" Our humanistic approach, while meaning to elevate us, has in fact diminished us.
The healthier approach is to begin with the understanding that there is a designer to this universe and, regardless of how you envision that being or force, he, she or it has created you for a purpose. Both the fact that you were created, and created with a purpose, immediately speaks value. Your worth as a person starts with the fact that you were purposely designed. No person, system, ideology, or religion can take that away from you. Furthermore, the closer you get to fulfilling that purpose the more your self-esteem grows.
The best way to build your self-esteem then is not to artificially try to prop it up with some positive reinforcement, but rather to come at it from the direction of purpose. When you find your unique purpose in life, you begin to build your self-esteem. What you build will last with this approach because it's in line with the original design.
