Kate Strong

How To Love When You Think You Can Never Love Again

A change in perspective can open up your heart again.

Are you trying to get over someone you loved and lost? Perhaps they moved on, or died, or weren't able to love you back?

You may be feeling that love is just too painful to give it another go. It's too complicated and messy and you always end up getting hurt no matter how much you loved.

Something to keep in mind as you barricade your heart up so you don't ever have to go through that torture again -

"Love is never found from a source outside of you."

Everything you feel comes from inside of you. You might protest and say you most certainly felt love coming from an outside source.

But you didn't, unless of course you're highly empathic, but then that's still not what has sustained you in relationships.

What you're feeling is coming from you; another person's presence just makes it easier to feel YOUR love. You allow yourself to feel it because being with this other person, or thinking about them, brings to the surface what is already in your heart.

This may feel like a let down to know, after all unrequited love and searching for love and thinking that someone else is the source of your love is a highly romantic love. It's what we love in movies, it gives us hope that there's someone out there that can give us what we need.

The story you tell yourself about how much this other person loves you puts you on a high. But if you told yourself they didn't love you then you shut your own love down, so as to protect yourself.

This person is the object of your love not the source. You are the source.

You project all your feelings onto this person and allow yourself to open up and feel the love because of your projections.

That's why it's so easy to love a puppy, it's OK to allow ourselves that uncomplicated love, we can't be hurt.

So when you think back to a time when you were deeply in love, you can't imagine that the amount of love you felt came from within yourself, it must have come because you were united with another, a sort of synergy. There may be an element of combined energy but without your inner source there is no way you could feel anything anyway.

So the more you focus on the love inside you, and stop searching for it in the world, the more likely you are to find someone to share that love with.

But you won't need their love, because you have your inner source anyway. You will attract what you want from overflow than lack every time.

So when you spend your time hurting over someone else moving on, you're still focusing on the love being outside of yourself. You have to shift your focus to find the love within. After all it shows itself when you find a suitable object to gush over.

Remember YOU are the source.

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