Some people make us feel nervous when we meet them for the first time. It’s usually partly because they are somewhat intimidating, partly because we get intimidated easily. Nevertheless, it is our responsibility to manage our own emotions and to try and relax as much as we possibly can when meeting new people.
The way we react emotionally can be managed. Emotions are nothing more than the result of the way we process mentally a certain context we’re in. By either changing the context or the way you process it, you can change your emotional reactions.
Here are three specific ways to do this and thus not feel nervous when meeting new people, which I’ve discovered to work well in my activity as a communication coach:
1. Get a lot of practice. The more you meet new people and interact with them, the more you improve your people skills and your confidence in interacting well with new people. Not feeling nervous is to a great extent, the result of practice.
So, instead of letting feeling nervous get the better of you and make you avoid meeting new people, oppose it. Consciously go out, put yourself in social situations and try to meet new people as much as possible.
2. Have good conversation starters. We often feel nervous when meeting new people because we don’t know how to kickoff a conversation with them. It is basically a problem of knowledge and conversational skills.
This problem can be addressed simply by knowing a few good conversation starters for various social situations. By realizing that you can rely on them to help you start a conversation, you will naturally tend to relax.
3. Let go of the outcome. Meeting new people usually makes us feel nervous because we want them to like us and we don’t know if we can manage to pull this off. We get attached to the outcome of having their approval and so we feel nervous.
The way out is to go the other way and let go of the need to be liked by the new people you meet. Realize that even if they don’t like you, it’s not a big deal. You don’t need the approval of the other person and you’ll be fine without it.
Being relaxed and confident with new people is an attitude that provides many benefits. With this attitude, you can express yourself in an authentic and charming way, which is the foundation of excellent social interactions.
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