How to Talk with Shy People

Self Help Articles | December 9, 2010

Talking with shy people can often be even harder than talking with loud, intimidating people. Because of their hesitance to open up, shy people create quite a challenge in conversations. However, face this challenge successfully and you’ll often discover an extraordinary person inside the shell.

Taking with shy people requires a special approach. You need to help them trust you and get comfortable with you, in order to have a meaningful conversation. Here are the most effective ways to do so:

1. Be positive. It’s hard to stay shy around a positive person. The energy of a positive person is very contagious. Once the shy person caught it, it will naturally make them feel more conformable and open up in a social interaction.

Fortunately, even if you’re not in a positive mood, you can make yourself positive. The methods to do this include remembering positive experiences, moving/ jumping around and smiling.

2. Be curious. Shy people have a hard time opening up because they think nobody is interested in them and what they have to say. Show them this is not the case when interacting with you, and they’ll be a lot more talkative.

Start with asking the shy person open ended questions. Continue with really listening to what they have to say and manifesting an honest interest in them.

3. Be nice. Shy people are afraid that others will judge them and make fun of them. This is why they hesitate to share their thoughts and emotions. So, when the shy person does open up, prove to them that you do not judge them.

You do so by not making fun of their ideas, avoiding contradicting them, looking for the value in what they have to say, finding commonalities between the two of you and giving them honest compliments.

4. Have patience. Shy people do open up and enjoy social interactions, but they need more time than the average person. This is why it’s important to have patience with them and to keep making conversation until you reach that point.

Eventually, they do open up and they are usually very grateful that you’ve managed to get them out of their shell. Shy people tend to have few friends, but those they do have, they often value for life.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Eduard Ezeanu is the creator of the conversation starters website. He provides communication coaching and helps people put their best foot forward in communication.