Knowing Your Introverted Child

I'm the IntrovertZCoach and my mission in life is to make sure that no introverted child today has to go through what my clients did who grew up in a time when people didn't understand introversion as a legitimate personality type. I hope you know by now that there's nothing wrong with introverts. Let me explain.

I took a cruise last summer on Royal Caribbean’s Rhapsody of the Seas. I was the enrichment speaker. A woman attended my lecture who had two teenaged children. I had seen her teens on the "quiet deck" reading books. In fact, they were my constant companions during the first days of the cruise. I, too, spent most of the day reading on the quiet deck. That’s because I'm an introvert and that's my idea of a cruise.

This mother complained that her kids weren’t “mixing”. They attended the teen sessions on the top deck for about 20 minutes and never went back. "Oh, I bet," I laughed. "They're totally introverts." Much to my surprise, she acted insulted and became defensive. Her kids weren't "introverts", they had been raised in another country and they just didn't make friends easily.

If this woman would have been open, I could have told her so many things about her children and what was so "right" about their behavior. But she had a negative definition of introversion and became so defensive, I changed the subject.

The sad truth is that introverts have been stuck with a self concept defined by the 70% majority extroverts who think there is something wrong with them. Introverts are not anti-social and they are not mentally ill. Far from it. Introverts enjoy the company of others and are often exceptionally loving, especially those who are also intuitive, feeling and perceptive (iNfp's according to the Myers-Briggs© personality types, called The Healer). If you would like more information about the eight different types of introverts, please visit http://www.advisorteam.com emperament_sorter/about/

I'm sure, you will find it helpful to discover the characteristics of introverts so you can support your child in a positive self image. Here are 20 characteristics universal to introverts.

Introverts ...
1. love to read
2. have a few close, true friends
3. are excellent listeners
4. do not like to contribute in class
5. give people energy (extroverts take energy)
6. love to go to their room and close the door
7. may be exhausted by the social interaction required during a typical day at school
8. do not like group work
9. do not learn by repeating things out loud
10. like to connect the dots and insist on turning information in to knowledge
11. are very territorial
12. like to know about expectations well ahead of time
13. suffer from feelings of humiliation if they make a mistake in public
14. are intense
15. hate small talk
16. prefer to write rather than talk and especially don’t like talking on the phone
17. have a private and a public personality
18. say what they mean
19. prefer not to say anything unless it is significant
20. need time alone to recharge their batteries

It is reassuring to know that the higher up the IQ, the greater the percentage of introverts. As your child progresses in life, chances are they will encounter a more friendly environment but you can help them while they’re small to develop a positive self image. Raising consciousness whenever possible among teachers and school administrators is also going to help your child, and other introverted children, to love and understand themselves better.