Your relationship is a dynamic and living entity, and without the proper care and attention, it can change and wane, just like anything else when neglected.
Do you remember when you fell in love? Try to clearly picture how you felt and how you acted during this time- Did you put an extra effort into looking your best? Did you hang on your love interest's every word? Did you do and say little extra things just because you knew that it would make your beloved smile? Were you acting like the very BEST version of yourself? Now that you are in a long-term committed relationship ask yourself how you have changed and how you have stayed the same. Here are some things to think about:
1. When was the last time you told your partner something that you admire about him/her?
2. How carefully do you listen to your partner's account of his/her day?
3. What is one thing that you could do that would make your partner's life easier today?
4. When was the last time you dressed up specifically for your partner- not for someone or something else?
5. When was the last time you brought home a card or gift for your partner that wasn't for an occassion?
6. How often do you tell your partner how attractive he/she is to you?
7. Do you always take your partner's side when there are disagreements with others (e.g., kids, in- laws, colleagues) no matter what?
8. When was the last time you had a romantic date (that wasn't for a special occassion) with your partner?
9. Have you recently made an effort to update your look or improve yourself in some way?
10. When was the last time that you put extra effort into making your intimate time special- i.e., you really 'wow'-ed him/her?
These are a few things to think about... It is not always easy to keep these things on the priority list when there are so many demands upon our time and energy. But remember that your relationship is a dynamic and living entity, and without the proper care and attention, it can change and wane, just like anything else when neglected. Give it the attention it deserves, and if you would like some specific suggestions, or would just like to get into the habit of doing the little things that count, give me a call and I can help you out! Also, please join the R & D team for an upcoming (as yet un-named) book on how to keep your partner happy. This is going to be a practical, results-oriented How-To Guide.
Please let us know what you want to know about your partner &/or what you want your partner to know about how to keep you happy. We know that it isn't always easy navigating this territory and we want to help! Go to the PinkvsBlue Message Board: http://www.pinkvsblue.com Can’t wait to hear from you!! You will receive feedback to your posts.
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According to researchers (footnote, E.g., Martin Seligman, Daniel Kahneman, Ed Deiner), money buys happiness only to a very limited extent. Not having money- that is, a family income of less than 30,000- is related to less happiness, but once your basic needs are being met, the increase in happiness from say, $31,000 to $131,000 is really not that great! Hard to believe, isn’t it? Think of all the time and energy we spend trying to attain more money- and it really doesn’t make that big of a difference! The United States is a very rich country, but the overall level of happiness there is lower than in many poorer countries. So, the question is, if money can’t buy happiness, what can? Things that are hard to buy.
