Are you stuck in a rut? Procrastinating? Finding excuses and reasons why you can't have what you want? If you answered yes to any of those questions then you are spending your days dragging The Reluctant along. Sometimes the reluctant weighs so heavy upon you that you can't move forward at all, so you're stuck, right where you are, unable to achieve much of anything.
Copyright (c) 2009 Valery Satterwhite
Are you: - stuck in a rut? - often tired even though you get enough sleep? - procrastinating even the easy things? - finding excuses and reasons why you can't be, do or have what you want in life?
If you answered yes to any of those questions then you are spending your days dragging The Reluctant along. And that's exhausting! Sometimes the reluctant weighs so heavy upon you that you can't move forward at all, so you're stuck, right where you are, unable to achieve much of anything.
What is The Reluctant, you ask?
The reluctant is that Inner Critic within you. It is the voice of self-doubt and fear. It is the part of you that wants to hold you back and keep you safe. Safe is what you know, where you already are.
You created this Inner Critic to help you cope, help you navigate, in your immediate environment when you were a little child. It served as your protector and did a pretty good job of it too. Kept you out of trouble by telling you to follow certain rules of survival. Rules such as 'you're bad if you make mistakes' or 'children should be seen and not heard'. The problem is you're no longer in that environment. And, although your Inner Critic means well, he is woefully misguided.
For example, you may have spilled paint all over the floor and a parent said, in a moment of frustration, "You're a bad boy! Look what you did!" So, the Inner Critic stops you from trying new things because you don't want to make any mistakes and be a bad person. "Children should be seen and not heard" becomes "I have nothing of importance to say" that can then become "I'm stupid". You don't think you're smart enough to take on bigger challenges.
As you grew older, this Inner Critic became a constant background hum that you forgot was there. Yet you continue, unconsciously, to obey its set of rules for you. This toxic belief system about what will keep you safe and out of trouble is guiding the choices you make, what actions to take, or not to take. These Inner Critic rule create the reluctance that drags you down and keeps you from moving forward.
Some people will say that you have to work toward eliminating the limiting beliefs this reluctant Inner Critic holds over you. I disagree. The Inner Critic is a part of you like your left foot is a part of you. You do, however, want to take away its power over you. Notice when you are finding excuses and reasons for "I can't". Those excuses and reasons are the misguided rules. Look for evidence of the opposite. Remember when you learned a lot from a mistake so the mistake benefited you in some may. Remember when people listened earnestly to what you had to say. This evidence is all around you. You just haven't been paying attention because you've been too busy dragging The Reluctant.
Ask yourself:
What if I could? How would my life change? What could I be, do or have that I cannot now? How would that feel?
See yourself as you would be if you let go of your reluctance, disarmed your Inner Critic, and took one step forward. That one step forward will help you build energy and the momentum to get out of your stuck place. Life flows effortlessly when you leave The Reluctant behind.
"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult." ~ Seneca
Self-Doubt Critic Folly
Inner Critic folly is those unquestioned and erroneous limiting beliefs you have about yourself that place limitations on your abilities. They may be conscious or unconscious. In other words, you often hold these assumptions you've made about yourself (and what is possible for you) far below the level of your everyday awareness. You are often unconscious to the fact that these beliefs are what guide your decisions and motivations.
The Intuitive Mind: Albert Einstein Quote
The intuitive mind is the Wizard Within. It is the voice of your intuition and inspiration. The rational mind is that of the Inner Critic - the voice of your self-doubt and fear. The Wizard Within makes choices and takes action based on gut instinct and creative inspiration. The Inner Critic makes choices and takes action based on fear of failure, fear of success, fear of rejection, fear of humiliation, and fear of change.
Relationships: A Mirrored Reflection of You
You have a lot of personal and professional relationships in life. Some relationships are loving, satisfying, uplifting, supportive and enrich your life experience. Other relationships are tense, adversarial, problematic, strained, and exhausting. You don't like, or avoid, spending time with the people who drain your life energy. The funny thing is that all of your relationships, good and bad, are a reflection of you!
