Facing the mirror in a swimsuit is as difficult as getting critism from someone else, a painful reminder of our flaws and imperfections. Hmm, why don't we look as good in that suit as the catalogue promised? It's the mirror's fault! We have an idea of what we look like and how we see ourself, but then the mirror confronts us with another truth ... and it's rather lumpy :-(
So what do we do?
How can we change that reflection glaring at us?
Here's the beauty, unless you're going to finally resolve your New Year's promise to hit the gym floor and lose those unwanted kilo's, you're not going to change what's staring back at you. What's easier to change is the way it makes you feel. Take a good, long, hard look at that person in front of you and forget about Cindy Crawford or Brad Pitt!
Our natural inclination is to first point out the ugly orange peel around our thighs, or the belly that sleeps next to us, but don't get stuck there. Look for the good things too.
How about those strong arms, or your smile that melts the coldest heart?
Perhaps you like your toes? Okay, maybe just the little one?
How about your ... hang on, did I hear you right?
"Yeah, I've got a nice nose, but .."
The challenge here isn't to look at your faults ... but at how imperfect you are.
Huh? That doesn't make sense?
Well, actually it does - we're not meant to be perfect.
If you think about it, our only means of achieving perfection is to get a machine to do it.
In this day and age, any cosmetic surgery program will show us that it's possible to look like Cindy or Brad, but do we really want to change who we are? I'm not saying ban surgery, it can be a helpful tool. But it is our perogative not to change. We don't have to. We can stay as we are.
But what about that scary reflection in the swimsuit? Once you know every inch of curve AND lump, it's like meeting an old friend. "Hey, how are you? Still around? I'm glad to see you again." You're comfortable with who you are and non-judgemental, about yourself and others.
Getting to know those inches means taking away all the things that "give us meaning" or "identify us" - bling, rides, cribs (doesn't have to be literal). It's about facing who we really are; the nuts and bolts, the nitty gritty, the truth. It does set you free.
So next time someones offers you critism and the sting in your eyes has subsided, listen to what they've said. Is there truth in it? Where is it coming from? Who said it and why? Just as some mirrors reflect a better you, some critism is more helpful. Even if it was ill-intended, don't just dismiss it, there's an opportunity to see your truth.
Only when we know the whole truth can we make an educated decision.
To change or not to change? Now that is the question.
