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The Goldilocks Principle

Do you remember the story of ... and the 3 Bears? It's quite a simple story and as an adult only takes minutes to read. What most of us do remember is the repeated theme of 'too hot, too cold,

Do you remember the story of Goldilocks and the 3 Bears?
It's quite a simple story and as an adult only takes
minutes to read. What most of us do remember is the
repeated theme of 'too hot, too cold, just right', 'too
hard, too soft, just right'.

But how did Goldilocks know which was which? That's the
question that comes up for me. How did she know which was
'just right' for her? There wasn't a lot of thought
involved.. she 'just' knew. And that's the message for
all of us: we all 'just' know what's 'just right' for
us, where our personal balance lies. It's simply (though
not necessarily easily!) just a matter of trusting

We go through life and hear different messages, depending on
the day, time, country, mood, whatever. Indeed, we give
different messages - to the same people - on different
days! 'You can't get anywhere without a plan'. 'Stop
planning and start doing.' 'Don't trust everyone you
meet.' 'You can't get anywhere without trusting.'
'Don't wear your heart on your sleeve.' 'You have to
start showing emotion.'

The messages may seem inconsistent, but they are (almost)
always appropriate for where we are in the moment. And
that's key to not getting stuck in the mire of mixed
messages. What's going on right now? Is it too much? Is it
too little? Listen within for the answer. It's there ---
and you can trust it. I call it the 'Goldilocks
Principle' and it's a great tool to use. What is 'just
right' for me, right now?

So often, as we move through life, when we decide to
institute some new action or behavior, in order to move out
of the 'status quo' we find it necessary to move from one
extreme to another. We go from no activity to trying to
spend 3 hours at the gym or walking a mile. We go from no
focus on quality to filtering every last thing we do
through a quality sieve. We go from spending all of our
time home alone to being out and about 6 nights out of 7.
This, I call the 'Pendulum Effect' and it works hand in
hand with the Goldilocks Principle.

Although we intuitively know what is 'just right' for us,
we do use clues. And the clues we use are from the
extremes. Too hot, too cold. Too little, too much. Too
hard, too soft. Too black, too white. We know when
something is 'too' anything for us. The Pendulum Effect
allows us to take action. And the Goldilocks Principle let
us know when enough is enough. The important trick is to
remember to ask 'What is 'just right' for me, right now?'

If you don't remember the story, there is a beautifully
illustrated version here. I think you'll really enjoy this
site as there are many fairytales and folk stories here in
their entiretyScience Articles, all with gorgeous illustrations and
wonderful musical accompaniments.

Article Tags: Goldilocks Principle, Just Right

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(c) Louise Morganti Kaelin. Louise is a Life Success Coach
who partners with individuals who are READY (to live their
best life), WILLING (to explore all options) and ABLE (to
accept total support). Find many free resources to assist
you in living the life of your dreams at For her free newsletter
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