We Have Two Heads And We Need To Be Smart In Both !

All of our thoughts are attached to emotions.  They are like Siamese twins.  In fact the link to emotions is so strong that our clearest memories, those with vivid details are the emotionally charged ones.  In fact you can remember so far back to your childhood, your favorite toys, warm moments or painful ones like falling off your bicycle because they were emotionally charged events.  In that regard, the Swiss psychologist Jean Piaget (1896 to 1980), a pioneer in the study of child development, described a “logic of emotions.”.  According to Piaget, the emotions are both the engines and mediators of our thought processes, perceptions and activities.  They control and assess what we think and what will be stored in our memories and what will not.

When we associate something with strong feelings or sensory perception is more easily stored in our memory, a kind of filing cabinet.  In fact this link is so effective in drawing out our memories that it is considered a technique in itself in memory training.  Students or any person intending to learn or memorize large volumes of data can use this method do store and recall any information easily.

But when did we acquire this talent?  In fact our ability to store emotions is activated at a very early stage in life.  Between the sixth and the 20th month of life, a baby forms strong emotional bonds with his or her parents and other important people.  The flipside of this is that if that does not happen, the child may run the risk of being a lifelong outsider.  This makes the notion of love a unique human trait.  Love is not something that can be taught in a class, it must be lived, it must be experienced.  Initially, love is cultivated when a baby can safely suckle its mother’s breast.  The warm feeling of having its needs met together with a sense of security when it is cuddled in its mother’s arms is vital to a baby’s emotional training. 

Later in life, the feeling of love is associated with physical sensations like kisses and hugs.  The day will also come when the child learns that love is linked to acceptance, admiration, pride, friendship, forgiveness and sexual desire.  The human mind is indeed a complex mingling of emotions and logic.  In fact psychologists have identified a second form of intellect which cannot be measured by tests and is molded by life itself.   Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, a German poet who lived between who died in 1832 used the German word ‘Herzensildung’, which means ‘education of the heart’.  Today, we call this emotional intelligence (EQ).  The talents associated with this form of intelligence include empathy, self-confidence, emotional self-control, character, tact and sensitivity. 

However, IQ is not the counterpart of EQ.  Most people have both but it is the level of each that distinguishes whether an individual is successful in life.  A high EQ is no guarantee of success in life, but given two individuals with the same IQ, the one with higher EQ is more likely to come out tops.  The good news is that Emotional Intelligence can be learnt but putting it to use in daily life makes it come out more naturally and more effective.