Cheating Spouse Advice: Dealing With The Non Perfect Choices

The calls at inappropriate times, the odd work schedule with ridiculously long hours, a change of appearance for no obvious reason had your alarm bell going off but you still tried to give them the benefit of the doubt. That's all gone now. Your worst suspicions have been confirmed. Your spouse is cheating on you.

The first question is why?  There could be any number of reasons for an extramarital relationship. Sometimes no matter how much effort both parties put into the relationship they still drift apart physically and emotionally. It may also be an attraction factor to the new person that your spouse cannot or will not control. Or it may be the excitement of the sneak; recklessness seems to thrill many of us especially if there is a certain danger element that goes with it like marriage infidelity. 

The second question that usually occurs to the offended party is "what did I do wrong?"  Please go very slow with this one. Yes there are things that you could have said or done differently. That's in any relationship but that doesn't mean you should shoulder the blame for their infidelity. You didn't cheat on them so make sure the responsibility for their own conduct remains with them.  The third question is where do you go from here? There are a couple of options to consider

1. Let it Pass

You think it's just a phase they are going thru so you do not say or do anything. You carry on with the relationship like normal and hope for the best. Why? Because you love them and you hope sooner or later that they will come to understand that and return that love they had for you.

2. Start cheating

You figure two can play this game so you give them a dose of their own medicine. You do it in the hopes they find out and it snaps them back to reality or you don't care whether they know or not. You are going to have as much fun and be just as reckless as they are. If it destroys the relationship so what? They started it.

3. Counseling

You tell your spouse that you know what's going on and you think it would be in the best interest of the relationship to get help.  An experienced counselor can potentially not only get to the root cause of your spouse's infidelities but also maybe able to cast a light on other areas of your relationship that are oblivious to the both of you.

4. Goodbye

You don't care the reason and you have no desire to work the situation out. You kept your part of the relationship bargain, they did not.  Give them a second chance? No way. You figure once they start cheating they ain't going to stop and there is no way you are sticking around only to have to replay this drama over and over again. They blew it. Goodbye and good riddance.

Deciding what to do once you find out your spouse is cheating is as tough a decision as you will ever face. There are a number of things you can consider but there is no perfect choice among them. In the end the final question that only you can answer after reviewing all of your options will be, "Is it worth it?"