Understanding Your Fear of Rejection When Trying to Pick Up Women

I believe that a guy cannot overcome his fear of rejection around women because his fear of rejection is a part of him. Just like his hand and leg are parts of him.

A guy can obviously overcome his problems of grammar or math if he desires to. These problems are fairly easy so solve.

Yet problems which are considered physiological, like fear of rejection, are so much a part of us that we cannot really do anything about them intentionally.

Let's be honest here. You have probably tried by now to remove and/or bypass your fears around women in many different ways but still you failed to achieve ongoing success. You have tried to bypass your fears by implementing an idea like courage.

You have tried to remove your fears by giving logic explanations to them and analyzing them. But none of your methods worked.

So it seems that you cannot remove your fears completely and perpetually.

Yet the fear of rejection must be removed, if one wants to live a life of happiness in this world in general and with women in particular.

Before we begin delving into the serious topic of the fear of rejection, I want to say that when we discuss fear, we are not discussing the self protecting mechanism of your body which protects you from non-existence. I mean, we are not talking about the mechanism which "signals" you to move when a bus is heading your way.

This is not the fear that we are talking about, we are talking about illogical physiological fears which prevent us from living our life to the fullest.

Now... Have you ever asked yourself why do you have fear at all? Surely you only experience fear when you are comparing your current state with some other state that you want to be in.

For example, you experience fear when you compare yourself to another guy. A guy who you think is more handsome than you, smarter than you, more successful with women than you, etc...

You have also fears about the future, for example:

- You see a beautiful girl walking down the street and you want to pick her up. Then thought comes about and "signals" you to avoid any action because your action may hurt you in the future.

- You have a girlfriend or someone that you just have sex with and this gives you great pleasure, but you are afraid that your current pleasure will end in the future because something may happen to your relationship, like the girl leaving you.

I hope we realized by now that our thoughts are our enemy. Thought breeds pleasure, pain and fear. Thought also offers you "logical" ways of overcoming your fear around women, yet those "great ways" never work for the long run.

So maybe, just maybe, thought is not such a good friend as we initially thought it was.

Finding out that thought is not your REAL friend but your ENEMY is a discovery by itself isn't it.

Thought helps you in so many ways in your "technical" life that's for sure (building a house for example), yet when thought enters your physiological life it creates chaos and havoc in it.

Thought creates your problems with women and then tries to help you solve them in different ways.

You have tried to implement different methods to bypass your fear of rejection but your fear keeps knocking on your "mental door" over and over again.

Yet when you truly understand that you can't do anything about fear because fear is an integral part of you.

Fear, surprisingly, ceases to exist.

An illusion can only exist if you believe it to be true.

It is like a crazy man who tries to escape from his arm. The moment he realizes that his arm is a part of him and he cannot escape from it. The problem of the getting away from the arm ceases to exist.

So never try to analyze your fears, bypass them or overcome them.

Instead do whatever you can to be aware of your fears when they come about.