Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal";...
You know that vampire fiction is serious stuff, right?
Or at least it’s supposed to be. Vampire drink blood, worry about drinking blood, and often run into trouble while trying to drink blood. These days they also chase underage girls who never smile, and sparkle when they get in the sunlight.
As I said, serious stuff. You’re not supposed to laugh at it, either. Not even a little.
Vampire stories aren't about fun – they're about a dark atmosphere and thought-provoking misery.
Or at least they were.
“The Thing In Stacey’s Garage” gleefully rips apart the rules of traditional vampire fiction, giving you a completely crazy clash between a shotgun-wielding vampire and a foul-mouthed chupacabra!
If you’re looking for yet another slice of serious, darkly romantic vampire fiction… keep going. This ain’t serious business at all. Well, unless you’re Stacey – and THEN it’s serious, because that nasty little chupacabra’s trashing all the cool stuff you’ve been collecting in your garage since the Great Depression.
Stacey ain’t another Dracula clone, he’s certainly no Lestat, and he couldn’t brood like Edward if he tried. He’s a slim little vampire guitarist for an 80’s-style rock band – he’s also a loudmouth, loose cannon, and perpetual troublemaker.
Unlike so many of vampire fiction’s traditional characters, Stacey enjoys his immortality. He LOVES being a vampire, in fact.
Stacey is what so many of us would be if we became vampires – the guy who says and does all the stuff we wish we could, but can’t get away with.
Where most vampire fiction is focused on the moral complications of being a vampire, “The Thing In Stacey’s Garage” ignores that old convention entirely. It’s already been done by countless other authors, so why not go for something new?
Instead, the story focuses on the kinds of situations a vampire can get himself into a world populated by strange – and obnoxious – supernatural beings. Like chupacabras.
On a warm summer evening, Stacey’s working on a big, ugly hot rod in his garage, and discovers an unwelcome visitor in his huge, barn-like garage – a creature far more dangerous than the raccoons who gave him rabies last week…
The fabled chupacabra proves to be far worse than the old legends say – the little monster’s hell-bent on destruction, chaos, and all-out mayhem!
Take bad attitude and put it on two legs, and you’ve got the chupacabra… a terrible little being you won’t find in any other piece of vampire fiction.
Endowed with strength beyond his small size, lightning speed, and pheromones that screw a vampire’s senses – not to mention an uncanny ability for mimicry – and Stacey’s got a full plate! After blackmailing Tommy – his grouchy professor friend – into helping and arming himself with his double-barreled shotgun, Stacey goes to war with his uninvited guest…
Because whether you’re a mortal or a centuries-old vampire, when you’re a man, you loudly and stupidly defend what belongs to you… even if you get killed in the process!
If you’re guessing this situation goes totally south, you’re right – shotgun shells, cans of bright pink paint, and crates of pornography are gonna be flying through the air before it’s all over!
As Tommy says, “I came here with the intention of conducting a scientific investigation, and instead I’ve walked into a damned Gremlins movie.
One of the things you always miss out on with traditional vampire fiction is the potential for hilarious storytelling. What most authors – and readers – don’t realize is that vampiric strength and endurance makes for tremendous slapstick comedy!
Just imagine if the Three Stooges had been vampires!
Forget all about moral conundrums, sorrowful romances, and hiding from vampire hunters…
“The Thing In Stacey’s Garage” has only one goal in mind –
Entertain the holy hell out of you with the craziest, most hilarious slice of vampire fiction you’ve ever seen – you’ll literally howl with laughter!
To be perfectly honest with you – I can’t write lush gothic prose to save my butt. I’m not poetic and I look at the world through a cartoonishly warped lens. BUT…
Inspired by wild action films like Desperado and profanely thoughtful comedies like Clerks, I’ll give you an outrageously inventive laugh riot that’ll make you laugh so hard you’ll have to stop reading to catch your breath.
I’m not kidding – Louis Yannick from Calgary, Alberta, Canada just wrote me an e-mail telling me he had to do just that when he read “The Thing In Stacey’s Garage!”
If you’re tired of serious vampire fiction – or are looking for something supernaturally outrageous and original – check out “The Thing In Stacey’s Garage.” You’ll find it with 11 other tales of hilarious, unusual, and surprisingly human vampire fiction in Sex, Blood, & Rock ‘n Roll.
But you won’t find it in any bookstore – this stuff’s a little too “rogue” for that. But you’ll be reading it within the next four minutes by following this link…
Sex, Blood, & Rock ‘n Roll
Exalt in the insanity of “The Thing In Stacey’s Garage” and see what vampire fiction is like when all of the old rules are kicked out the door!
Vampire Fiction Bringing You Swampy Horror, Hilarity… And Humanity!
Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal";...
Blues-drenched vampire fiction with thrills, chills, and lots of laughs!
Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal";...
Vampire Fiction With Compelling Lady Vamps Like You’ve Never Seen!
Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal";...
