Every good thing has its start, and that start is often a conversation. Some conversations start off naturally, some require some work. This is why I believe that being able to start a conversation with style is a valuable people skill to master. When you can effectively start conversations with all sorts of people, your social life improves drastically.
There are many ways to start a conversation. As a communication coach, I’ve discovered some approaches work a lot better than others. Here are some of the key ideas to apply in starting conversations:
1. Be interested. One of the best ways to start a conversation is by being curious about the other person. Most people love it when others are interested in them, their opinions and their experiences.
The best manifestation of interest is asking questions. So, consider starting a conversation by asking the other person something. Don’t make the question too intrusive, but make sure it reflects an authentic interest from you.
2. Don’t over-think it. It’s good if you can be witty and creative when starting a conversation, to set yourself apart from the crowd. At the same time though, you don’t want to overdo it.
A conversation starter is just the beginning of a conversation. Don’t inconvenience yourself too much, trying to pick the perfect one. In the end, what matters the most is to actually kickoff the conversation and then move into it.
3. Have a confident approach. A great part of your results in starting a conversation are determined not by what you say, but by how you say it. You want to exude confidence when initiating a conversation.
Confidence is mostly about your body language and your voice. Stand up straight, make eye contact when talking, don’t fidget, smile and speak in a clear, slow voice. You will have the best impact.
4. Have fun. Last but not least, keep in mind that you’re talking with a person to enjoy yourself. If you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself when starting a conversation, I believe there is something seriously screwed up.
Learn to relax and enjoy yourself when initiating conversations. Sometimes, this does require working on your confidence or your people skills, but trust me, the benefits for your social life are definitely worth it.
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