What Are Your Personal Policies

Here are some examples I've run into:

A small business owner client of mine had several clients that were frustrating her by not following through on their commitments, hampering her ability to do her job and serve them properly.

Another client who works out of his home was doing a lot of "just quickly checking email," and other business tasks in the evenings and on the weekends, distancing him from his wife and children.

A third client routinely fell into the trap of looking at every angle of a situation before taking action, slowing his progress to a snail's pace. I believe the technical term is "paralysis by analysis. "For each client, we looked at how they were showing up in the midst of these issues, and together we identified the problem as lax personal policies. The emotional result was always a sense of compromising themselves.

Taking a birds-eye view at your life and deciding what policies to put in place that will serve your higher self can be a powerful way to take a stand for your life.

Let's break possible policies into three categories.

1. Structures that keep you on track

Some examples:

• I'm in bed every night at 10:30 so I can be my best first thing in the morning.
• When I leave the office, I leave my work life behind me and focus everything on my family.
• I only watch the TV shows I really want to see, and I turn it off right after I've watched it.
• Healthy diet and exercise - get specific here: how many workouts or yoga classes each week? What foods will you cut out, and what will you replace them with?
• I meditate for 20 minutes every morning, clearing my mind and letting go of stress. The key here is to take a big-picture look at your whole life and decide what policies you need to live to be your best. What will make you feel great about yourself? What will keep you consistently moving forward while loving the life you lead? Trust your intuition.

2. Behavior you're not willing to tolerate anymore

When other people cross your core boundaries, it causes you pain or grief or stress. Setting these personal policies is a matter of drawing a line in the sand with those in your life, and clarifying the consequences for those who cross them.

If you had a friend that continually lied to you and made excuses, you wouldn't allow it to keep happening, would you? You'd call them out and demand that they be honest with you in the future or you'd end the friendship, right?There might also be some powerful policy to set for your own behavior as well. It might read something like this: "I only accept messages from myself in the form of thoughts and emotions that encourage, uplift, and support my progress and growth." Or, "I spend very little time doing things I don't want to do, and the vast majority of time in my passions."

3. The standards you hold for yourself and others

This one scares a lot of people, especially the implications of holding others to your standards. I'm not talking about making the people in your life accountable to who think they ought to be. Rather, it's about taking a look at who you surround yourself with and asking, "are the people in my life on my side? Do they really want me to succeed? Does having them in my life serve me, or hold me back from who I really am?"Addicts who pursue recovery sometimes find they have to let go of old relationships that encourage the atmosphere of their addiction. This may seem like an extreme example, but as you grow and your self-esteem increases through life, you may reach a point at which you only allow yourself to interact with those who want the best for you. When setting standards for yourself, it's a matter of looking at who you are at your best, and then guiding every choice you make towards that standard. For example...

• Want to be more honest with yourself and those in your life? Make a point of it and follow through.
• Want to inspire others with your sense of fun and creativity? Do it.
• Want to make sure your commitment to quality comes through in everything you do? Keep your focus on it. The bottom line for policy-setting is choosing to take a stand for yourself and your life. Hold yourself as a magnificent being, deserving of all good things, and then pursue them by putting the rules and structures in place that will keep you focused there.

The Call to Action:

Take some time and write down some of the places where your life is being compromised, either by others or yourself. Then write some specific policies that keep you focused on who you want to be, and what you want in your life. Decide what you deserve more of, what you want less of, and go for it with boldness and excitement.

Because ultimately, we both know you're worth taking a stand for.