About Commitment Phobia In Men

The Phenomenon

Afraid of committed relationships among men is not rare. It had been there for more than we  can ever know. Men were  identified  for their reluctance to recede their freedom. And a  pledged relationship, such as a wedded state,  would repeatedly - at least in their  percipience - cut them off from that  privilege  of being a free adventurer in life.

Men are, by nature,    very  individualist. They fond to do and  decide things for themselves, and by themselves. Being  engaged, for  example, would put him in a condition where  he   lose his freedom to do  whatsoever he likes the way he inclines to. There  is even an old anecdote  related to it: "It is said that the bride wears white  clothes because white represents  serenity and  jubilation. If that's genuine,  then why does the groom  invariably array dark colors?"

But, in spite of commitment  phobia among men had been there for ages, it had never been an arduous  difficulty until  now. Today, more and more men are found to  have to a worry to sworn  relation to some stage, even to  the amplitude of phobia. Yes,  more and more males be  handicapped by commitment dread  today! What are the cause of it? And how  can we deal with it?

The Mainspring

In today's reality, the causes of afraid of commitment in men are no longer as innocent as in several decades  ago. When it's  nevertheless  true that the principal root  for commitment  phobia  among men is  their  qualm to waive freedom, in today's world the advancements  that women have  obtained also portray a  cardinal  role.

There are so many women now are financially much more  self-supporting. And more and more  professions, that were traditionally  managed by men now have been taken over by women.

For ages, men by  nature have the  portrayal as provider for his  house. That role had  preconditioned them  judgment of  surety. They knew that their  household (spouse and kids) needed them. The  perception of being needed  helped him feel significant.

The current  developments, plus the advancements in  newscasting modern application that give ability to everyone of us to hear every gossip  and manners among celebrities with all their  immoral stories, have degraded most men's  self-confidence and thoughts of  self-conviction. The  news about how  a lot of women now can  betray their men easily and steal their money, as well as their own bad experiences with women in their lives make the  construct of being pledged  for a lifespan relationship to only  one spouse is just too scary!

And it's not just that. The  nonchalance trend now to have sex anytime they  want also contributes greatly to their  hesitation to  be involved in committed relationships. There are more women now who  will not even think twice to do one night stand with a man they know nothing about. And also that "friend with benefit" style that is so common today makes  innumerable men think that a pledged  relationship is just  unreasonable.

What Next

I think there's no such thing  as a  distinct resolution for this. If you are already in a  tie with a man with fear of commitment, then there are only two  choices: either to end the relationship and avoid yourself from more  approaching  anguish and wretchedness, or to aid  him to subdue his commitmentphobia . The second option of course will never  be easy. It will  weaken you mentally and emotionally. But the  option is yours to make. The key is,  patience and self  control.

Frankly, I will not  urge to keep your  affinity with him unless you know for sure, with  all you heart and soul, that he is "the one" for you,  your true one. But, even if he is, I should  tell you: your  battle to win him will be very hard. You may have to stop  meeting him for a few weeks or  even months (after having a heart-to-heart talk  on the topic about what you require from him in the  interrelations hip) to give him time and space to solve his problems. If he genuinely  loves you, then he would come to a point  where he realizes that the thing he frightens the most is losing you, not committing to  you.

And for you who have not been in relationship, there are some signs of commitment phobia that you can use to  spot whether a guy friend is a sufferer of fear of committed relationships or not. Preventing is  invariably easier than curing. So, if you  cognise that a  man suffers a fear of  commitment , do yourself a favor: run  away! Unless... of course, you know deep within your heart that he is your soul mate.