If you are strong during your #divorce - you win. See how and why - http://bit.ly/2j2Af4b
No one plans on getting divorced when they get married, and yet that is a possible outcome for some. If you have spent your life mastering people pleasing, always saying yes, being diplomatic, and putting everyone else's needs before yours, you will suffer tremendously if you are confronted with going through a divorce. The following are some areas of negotiating a divorce that people pleasing needs to be replaced with having a Backbone.
1. Fight for you Marriage
As you have heard me say in the past, no divorce should happen until the couple tries everything they can to fight for their marriage. If you are the only one asking for therapy, workshops, time, and or spiritual counseling, you will need a backbone to take a stand for fixing your marriage before moving forward with divorce. "I think we have something special with our family. I ask that you join me in working to get our family back the way we know it can be." If you get to therapy, you will need a Backbone to take a stand for what you believe the marriage needs to flourish. If there are no deal breakers in your marriage, you will want to try everything you can so when your children (as adults) ask why they had to go through a divorce you will be able to say "we tried everything."
2. Hiring your Support Staff
If your marriage cannot be saved and you need to move forward with divorce, more than likely you will hire professionals to help. It will be up to you to have a Backbone to interview these people with tough questions. You need to find out if this person is right for you. That is surely not going to happen if you are trying to please the person. It is paramount you understand you are looking for someone who can have your back, not the other way around. Whether you are hiring a lawyer, a mediator, an accountant, a therapist, or dealing with your soon to be "ex", it is imperative you convey that you have opinions, ideas, thoughts, and a voice. If you are focused on how to please everyone, you will successfully throw yourself under the bus!
3. Negotiate Rigorously
Continue reading here : https://www.divorceforce.com/article/5-reasons-you-need-a-backbone-to-divorce-by-dr-anne-brown-rncs
Navigating Recovery from a Borderline Partner
Navigating a relationship with a spouse who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be a complex and emotionally taxing journey. The decision to stay or leave the marriage is deeply personal and often hinges on factors such as the well-being of children and personal values. Establishing emotional boundaries is crucial for maintaining mental health, as taking on a partner's emotional burdens can lead to failure. It's essential to recognize that each person is responsible for managing their own emotions and seeking professional help when needed. For a comprehensive guide on healing from a relationship with a borderline spouse, read the full article here.
My Spouse has Borderline Personality Disorder!
“ If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative. Know when to close the account.”
Have You Heard About Backbone Power The Science of Saying No Audiobook?
Start saying Yes to yourself and No to being used/abused/exploited!
