Eight Steps to Stop Compulsively Calling Your Ex-Boyfriend/Husband
Eight steps to help you stop compulsively calling or contacting your ex-boyfriend or husband.
- Don’t be so impulsive. Stall. Take a moment to compose yourself. Tell yourself you will wait a couple of hours before you contact him. This will give you some time to work on yourself. There’s always time to impulsively call that your ex!
- Get away from whatever or whoever is causing you to have that urge to contact him!
- Distract yourself. Focus your attention to something else,
whatever will get you to temporarily not think of your ex. Whether it’s a movie; a change of scenery – whatever it takes to stop your preoccupation with him.
- Remember that emotions and urges do pass. It may feel like this now but it won’t feel like this forever. Instead try to analyze what’s behind the feeling and urge to call him that may be triggered by external events.
- Think of the negative consequences that can result from contacting him. Stop thinking of any positive memories. Don’t romanticize the relationship. Think of all the negative qualities of your ex. Make a list of all the times you were dissatisfied with the relationship with him.
- Have a support system to contact immediately when you get that urge to call. Carry their numbers at all times or better yet know them by heart. Don’t be embarrassed to call them.
- Learn to tolerate feelings and not immediately act them out. Sometimes in life you have to sit on your feelings and not to do anything about them. Learn to endure feelings of frustration for long–term gratification which would be letting go of your ex, so you can avoid further rejection and humiliation.
- Like they say in the 12-step program, take it day by day. Sometimes you may have to take it hour by hour, second by second. You can even try keeping track of every hour you resisted the temptation of contacting him. Knowing you are going to be able to mark down another day of not calling him may help you experience a sense of achievement that you took care of yourself and weren’t self-destructive.
