If
you have issues about commitment, share them with your lover. Explain to your partner what your commitment means.
Completely Committed
Time for Exercise: 15 minutes
Properties Required: none
Steps:
1. Explain to your partner what your commitment means.
2.
Give evidence that supports your statement and shows your commitment.
Below are examples of evidence that commitment is real. The items on
this list are not all required. They are examples to help get the
exercise going. Each couple will express their commitment in their own
way. There are no rules about commitment. The most important thing
about commitment is that you are in agreement about it. For example, in
some relationships, neither partner is ready for 100% commitment.
Merging of finances Names on property titles Shared bank accounts Beneficiaries in wills and insurance policies Legal marriage Having or adopting children Sleeping together Fidelity Personal sacrifices on the other’s behalf Giving up something you want so your lover can have what he wants
Admitting when you are wrong rather than always trying to win every argument
Asking: “How can I help?” Offering: “Let me do that for you.” Confiding in your lover when you are hurting or afraid Admitting: “I don’t know.” Asking for what you want Saying “yes” whenever you can, and “no” when you must
Trying new things together Surviving hardship Trust—for example, when the evidence makes your partner look bad, you know: “That can’t be all the evidence.”
Not putting up with your partner’s bullshit, but calling her on it (in a loving way)
Forgiving your lover when he has made a mistake Treating him with kindness, respect, and fairness
Comments:
If
you have issues about commitment, share them with your lover. Explain
any fears and doubts you have about your willingness or ability to give
your commitment. Also talk about your intention to work through these
issues together.
Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship
Tantra. They regularly host lover's romantic weekends near Ottawa
Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations. For more info Visit www.tantra-sex.com, www.sexyspiritualrelationships.com and their blog www.askaboutloveandsex.com or send email: 4freedoms@tantraloving.com
