Most of us have all had crushes on the opposite sex at some point in our lives. This has probably been from a young age at school right through to being an adult in the workplace. People have been and gone in our lives and we pay little attention to it as we go through life. But what if you have had that special someone, that crush and it has now gone?
From being a very young age it is normal to be attracted to the opposite sex (in most cases). We all have school crushes on boys and girls we are in class with or we see in the playground. This goes on into higher education, college, university and then sometimes even into the workplace. During these periods you will have been let down by what you thought was the girl or boy of your dreams. Does this bother you now? Probably not, now years have passed and you are maybe in a relationship with somebody, good job and life is all good. The main point here is, people do get let down by people they love or care about and at the end of the day it is about moving on with your life.
Now what if you do not want to move on? Supposing you are going through a breakup with someone who you really want to be with and you are determined to fight for it? (We are not listing reasons for a breakup as these can stretch through a very long list).
Many relationships fall apart. It is a fact of life. Things change; situations change and even people can have a change of heart or simply want to move in a different direction. These facts of life will never change; it is the way life is. The opportunities and dreams you have when you are sixteen years old are far from the same when you are fifty. We must accept this. What we must not accept, is a relationship failing because of these reasons.
Relationships should be cherished and where possible saved from changes of circumstances. As we have said, there can be a thousand reasons for a relationship failing and not all can be saved but a large amount can if you are willing to learn a few rules.
If you are experiencing a separation at the moment, have you both taken the time to sit down (together or alone) and really find out the reason for the breakup? This is something you must know. There is no use in going out and trying to save a relationship when you have no idea what caused the separation in the first place. Knowing this vital information will allow you to avoid making the mistakes again in the future.
If you are suffering a separation, give it time. Constantly bombarding your ex with text messages, emails and phone calls is not the way to go forward. It is irritating and only causes upset, anger and frustration. If you are separated and want to get your ex back avoid these simple mistakes.
Time is needed to think and to get yourself together (for both of you). Think of this as a time to do some activities you never got the chance to do when you were in the relationship, for example a hobby.
When the situation has had the time to allow tempers and frustration to settle, this is the time to start talking again. Not pushing them into getting back together, simple talking and try to discuss your situation calmly. This may take some time to bring up, try to take your ex out for coffee two or three times first and establish a friendship again!
One of the key problems in relationships is the inability to communicate. It is so easy to upset somebody not by what you say but by the way you say it! Learning to communicate effectively is very important. If you want to get your ex back you will not achieve it throwing yourself in blind with no idea with what you are going to say. Hitting stumbling blocks and making it up as you go along will force mistakes. These mistakes can be fatal mistakes and will tarnish any possibility of you reuniting.
If you want to get your ex back there is a selection of words you should keep in mind. Time, space, learning and patience!
During the period of your separation use this time to learn what you need to do to get your ex back! You will both benefit in the long run!
