"If Kisses Were Bullets" by H.X. Sin is a literary enigma that defies conventional storytelling. This debut novel challenges readers with its unique format and complex narrative, making it a book that demands multiple readings to fully appreciate its depth and intricacies.
H.X. Sin's first novel, "If Kisses Were Bullets," is a bold and unconventional entry into the literary world. The title and the author's name might initially give the impression of a controversial or morally ambiguous work, but this book is far more nuanced and thought-provoking than it appears at first glance.
One of the most striking aspects of "If Kisses Were Bullets" is its unusual format. The book presents two parallel stories, one printed on the left side of the page and the other on the right. Readers are given the choice to read these stories sequentially or simultaneously, adding a layer of complexity to the reading experience. This format can be challenging for casual readers, but it also offers a unique and immersive way to engage with the narrative.
The first story follows the main character, a 26-year-old living in California, who has become disillusioned by his experiences with good and evil. Through a series of flashbacks, we learn about his tumultuous past, filled with drinking, irresponsibility, and encounters with people who have both uplifted and torn him down. The narrative often feels like poetry, with a heavy rhythm that underscores the protagonist's internal struggles. His life is marked by heartbreak, the death of loved ones, and involuntary incarceration in a mental institution, all of which shape his cynical worldview.
The second story jumps forward six years, revealing the main character as a successful novelist. Despite his achievements, he remains bitter and angry, having conquered his personal demons only to find himself under the control of public opinion. His fame and wealth lead him back to an aimless and irresponsible life. The narrative hints at a period of personal growth during the six-year gap, but ultimately, he finds himself repeating the same mistakes.
As the two stories unfold, they begin to overlay each other, creating a sense of déjà vu. The protagonist's journey feels like a coming-of-age story that he must experience twice because he failed the first time. This irony becomes more apparent as the plot introduces a series of murders, prompting readers to question if they missed crucial details. The book's reliance on re-reading to uncover hidden clues mirrors the protagonist's need to start over, making the reading experience both frustrating and rewarding.
The book's appendix offers additional layers of complexity. It includes an alternate version of the protagonist's life, akin to alternate endings on a DVD, and provides a cursory explanation of the mysterious six-year gap. The appendix also features a collection of pictures, some of which are directly related to the narrative, while others leave readers puzzled. These elements contribute to the impression that every detail in the book has been meticulously structured.
H.X. Sin's "If Kisses Were Bullets" is not for the average reader. It requires a willingness to peel away layers of pop culture references, anger, and diatribe to uncover the underlying themes. The book's complexity and unconventional format may prevent it from becoming mainstream pop fiction, but for those who appreciate a literary challenge, it offers a deeply rewarding experience.
"If Kisses Were Bullets" is a novel that defies easy categorization. Its unique format, dual narratives, and intricate structure make it a book that demands multiple readings to fully appreciate. H.X. Sin's debut is a daring and thought-provoking work that will leave readers talking and pondering long after they turn the final page.
By embracing the unconventional and challenging the norms of storytelling, "If Kisses Were Bullets" stands out as a unique and thought-provoking read. Whether you love it or hate it, it's a book that will undoubtedly leave a lasting impression.
